Aftermath
by keotla
Summary: After Mac leaves for London, how does the team, Stella in particular, deal with everything he left behind?  Post Snow day, and spoilers for seasons 2 and 3. Rating changed to T, but be warned, there's some language...
1. Okay?

A/N: Hi, everyone, thanks for reading! This is my first CSI fic... in fact, it's the first time i've ever written anything that i've managed to finish, and the first thing i've written in ages. I really hope you enjoy it... It's rated M for some strong language and adult-ish situations (there's no smut, but it mentions some psychological issues), and is loosely based on something that happened to me a few years ago. I guess... review if you want to review, but please, please be nice! I'm incredibly nervous about this...

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**Chapter 1: Okay?**

Still clutching the gun, Stella stood between Hawkes and Flack, raising an eyebrow as she watched Mac walk away with his arm around Peyton. She could hear the boys chuckling beside her, and allowed her own small laugh to escape her lips at Mac's "London!" tossed back over his shoulder at them. She was glad to see him happy, glad to finally see smiles where for so long there had been frowns. It didn't matter that she hadn't been the one to put them there, she told herself again. It only mattered that they were there.

"Stella?" She turned to Flack, eyebrow still raised. "Are you OK?" he asked, relieving her of the gun and handing it to an officer standing near-by.

She sighed, and shrugged. Physically, she was fine, barely a scratch, but mentally, emotionally? That remained to be seen. The whole scenario had felt eerily close to her situation with Frankie: trapped, with no weapon, and little means of escape. True, Mac and Hawkes had been with her this time, but the odds had been very bad with as well armed as those guys had been. It was either pure luck or a simple miracle or both that they'd all gotten out mostly unscathed – a few scratches and just a little bit wet. Grimacing, Stella realized that she was still soaked, clothes plastered to her body, hair hanging limp around her face.

Lost in thought, she'd forgotten Hawkes and Flack were still standing there, Flack still waiting on an answer to his question. As the silence stretched, Flack and Hawkes exchanged a look, and Hawkes came around to stand next to Flack in front of Stella.

Sheldon reached out, putting a hand on Stella's damp shoulder. She jerked at the touch, suddenly aware that she hadn't answered Don's question. Looking up, she saw matching concern in the sets of eyes studying her: Don's brilliant blues and Sheldon's amazing dark chocolate pair. Smiling self-consciously, she shrugged again.

"Yeah, guys, I'll be fine. I need a hot shower, dry clothes, and 14 hours of uninterrupted sleep, with maybe a hot meal thrown in there if I have the energy for it, but I'll be fine."

Flack sighed, knowing that most of that was going to have to wait. "Stella… there's something… that you should know. At the warehouse…" Flack trailed off uncertainly, exchanging a glance with Sheldon.

"What, Don? What about the warehouse? Adam and Danny were there processing, right?" Stella was on the verge of panicking, especially after seeing the look, and Don's obvious hesitation.

"Yeah, but…" Flack hesitated and glanced at Hawkes again. _Just like ripping off a band-aid,_ he told himself. The fast he spit it out, the better. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Well… they took Adam hostage and had tortured him before Danny got there…"

"WHAT?!" Stella shouted, panic sliding into shock and anger, thinking, _could this day get _any_ worse?_

Flack winced, looking at Hawkes yet again. Both of them knowing that she really wasn't going to like the next part, Sheldon moved to stand next to her, the hand that had been on her shoulder sliding down to her waist. Nodding at Hawkes' shift, Flack continued. "Yeah…. And there's more. Adam… well, he couldn't warn Danny in time and so Danny got conked on the head. Then, they caught him trying to send a text message, and smashed his phone and his hand." Flinching at Stella's gasp, Flack rushed on. "And… well, then, Danny used himself as a distraction so that Adam could get the acid out of his kit. They… well, they beat the shit out of him, to be blunt. Both Danny and Adam are on their way to the hospital. Lindsay's with them." Flack rushed the last bit out, and watched Stella anxiously for her reaction. Stella's shoulders had visibly slumped, and each word had seemed to hit her like a blow until she appeared hunched and almost old. Hawkes silently slid his arm the rest of the way around her waist and urged her closer, silently offering the support she seemed to need, but rarely accepted. Gratefully, she leaned into him, laid her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"Does Mac know?" she asked quietly.

"He didn't exactly gimme a change to tell him," Flack pointed out, a bite in his voice.

Stella nodded, still accepting the offered support, and rubbed a hand over her forehead and eyes. _Looks like dry clothes, dinner, and the sleep will have to wait, _she told herself. "Alright. If he calls and asks, go ahead and tell him. If he doesn't ask, please don't say anything. I'll break the news to him later. He deserves this vacation and if he knows about Danny and Adam, he won't go. I don't want to stress him out any more." All three of them knew that Mac must have been really distracted not to have asked about the others, but as far as he knew there was no reason for him to ask. "I'm going to go see if there's a dry coverall in this building, then I'm heading to the hospital. You both should go home and shower, change, whatever; then, if you want, come to the hospital. Ok?"

Hawkes and Flack nodded, though Flack disagreed. Privately, he was pissed that Mac would take off without helping Stella, without even thinking to ask about Danny and Adam. Stella straightened up, gave them both a weak smile, then walked off to begin her quest for dry clothing.

Both men watched her go. "Somethin' about her seem… not right to you, Doc?" Flack asked Sheldon bluntly.

Sighing, Sheldon rubbed his own forehead and eyes. "Yeah," he said in his quiet voice. "She's… fragile, brittle. I could feel it in her body, even though she was trying to hide it. And when have you known her to accept physical comfort and support?" Hawkes shook his head, voice sharpening uncharacteristically. "Damn Mac for leaving her with this! Did he even _think_ about what clean-up would entail?!"

Flack looked at Hawkes, surprised to hear his private thoughts spoken aloud. "Yeah, real nice of him to leave her with his mess while he goes trotting off to London to play with Peyton," he answered sarcastically. Stella had had a hard enough time this year without having to handle this all on her own. Between worrying about Lindsay's trial, grieving Aidan, and her own HIV scare, Stella did not need any more stress. At least, that was Flack's opinion. She was just beginning to seem herself again consistently after that whole Frankie debacle, too. Flack sighed. "Think she'll hold?"

They watched the door to the stairwell close behind her. Hawkes looked at Flack, considering. "Hard to say," he said quietly. "She's strong, but even Stella has to have a breaking point that can't be far off."

Flack nodded, in complete agreement. "Since Mac's abandoned her for the moment, let's make sure that we're there to help put her back together when she does break, eh?"

Sheldon was already nodding. "Definitely."


	2. Already?

A/N: Here's chapter 2, and probly chapter 3, since i have a bunch of them finished already. I hope you're all enjoying it... Mandy, thanks so much for that review, it was awesome! I hope you keep enjoying the story!

If any of you want to review, feel free... just, again, please be nice! Constructive criticism is just fine, but no flames please!

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Chapter 2: Already?

Stella made sure to keep her back stiff and her chin up until she had entered the stairwell, aware that the guys were watching. Once the door clanged shut behind her, she allowed herself to slump down against the wall facing it and cover her face. After the adrenaline rush of the day, hugging Mac had been an incredible comfort. But then she'd heard the fast clicks of a running woman, had felt Mac's attention shift even as he started pulling away.

She'd let go as soon as she'd felt the shift in his attention, but it had cost her most of her reserve strength. She'd turned, and even managed a smile as she watched Peyton vault into Mac's arms. She honestly was glad that he was happy, but… there was a small part of her that wished it was her who had put the smile back on his face. Now he was gone.

She didn't know exactly when he was leaving for London, but she was betting it was soon. Peyton wouldn't have wanted to give him a chance to change his mind. At the outside, he'd be gone in a day – just enough time to ask for the time off. Now that the lab was out of commission – _due to _his_ pipe bomb_, she thought bitterly – it was unlikely that he needed even that. They wouldn't be allowed to help with processing the scene of the bomb, or the entire lab, due to their proximity to the events, and that would likely take several days. They could be called back in to help with the vault door, and to help re-catalogue the remaining evidence from their open cases; they might be allowed to help re-process the warehouse, but given that it was two of their team members, that was uncertain. Even though he was head of the lab, she was just under him and more then capable of handling the cleanup. She imagined he'd already faxed over the paperwork handing her the reins for the time that he'd be gone.

Leaning her head back against the wall, she wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't even want to think about the mess in front of her. Feeling herself begin to tense up even further, she pushed all thoughts involving the cleanup to the back of her mind. Danny and Adam needed her attention right now. It was unlikely that she and the rest of the team would be allowed back into the lab until tomorrow, at the very earliest, and then probably just to give their statements. _At least this time,_ she thought, _I might be able to go home first._

She was distracted from her thoughts when her cell phone began to beep an incoming call. Stella grabbed it, and with a good idea of who it was, answered without checking the ID.

"Bonasera…. Already? … Ok, for how long? … Right, thanks." She snapped the phone closed, barely resisting the urge to throw it down the flight of stairs next to her. _He didn't even call me himself_, she thought incredulously. Their chief had. Mac had faxed the paperwork from JFK. He was probably already in the air, maybe receiving his beverage service by now somewhere over the Atlantic.

Reminding herself that he deserved this break, she ignored the voice inside of her that insisted she did too. Glancing at the time on the phone she was clutching, she swore. "Shit. I gotta get a move-on," she said aloud to the empty stairwell. She sighed, rubbed her eyes one more time, then started up the stairs in search of dry clothing.

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Arriving at the Emergency Room, Stella found the front desk, flashed her badge, and asked about Danny and Adam. Danny, she was told, had just been taken into surgery to set his hand and Adam was in a room, having been admitted for observation. Stella briefly explained the situation and requested that the two men have rooms near each other if at all possible. The nurse checked, and changed Danny's room assignment to be just down the hall from Adam's. Stella thanked her profusely (after all, the switch would make it easier on her as well) and after inquiring how long Danny's surgery was likely to last, made her way to the elevator.

On her way up to the eighth floor, Stella's cell beeped again. Glancing at the ID this time, she answered with a smile.

"Hey, Sheldon, what's up?"

"Hey, Stel. Any news?"

Quickly, Stella filled him in about Danny's surgery and Adam's being admitted for observation. "They think Danny's surgery will be about two hours and they just took him in. I'm gonna go see Adam in the mean time."

"Great. Do you need anything?"

She hesitated. "Well… I couldn't find any dry clothes at all, so…" She trailed off.

"You need some," Hawkes finished for her. "Is there a way for me to get into your apartment?"

"No…" She said uncertainly.

"No problem." He answered without hesitation. "I'll grab you at least an old T of mine. Sweats ok with you?"

"Absolutely, Sheldon. Thank you _so_ much," Stella said, relief evident in her voice.

"No worries, Stella. Flack's on his way to pick me up, so we should be there in just a few."

Hanging up, Stella walked to Adam's room. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and knocked. Receiving a muffled "Come" from inside, she pushed open the door. Peaking her head around the door, she smiled at the man in the bed.

"Hey, Adam," She said softly. "Can I come in?"


	3. Breakdown

A/N: I know this is right on the heels of chapter 2, so there isn't much to say… we're getting into the meat of the story now! I hope you're enjoying it… Again, reviews are fine and welcomed, but no flames please!

**Chapter 3**: Breakdown

Briefly meeting Stella's eyes, Adam managed a weak smile. "Sure, Stel. Come in."

Stella walked into the room, snagging a chair and dragging it over to the bed. Instead of sitting in it, she leaned over the bed and carefully hugged Adam. Leaning back, she smoothed a hand over his hair.

"How are you, kiddo?"

Adam wouldn't meet her eyes. "I'm ok. Not in too much pain. They did something that numbed my burns," he said, making vague gestures with his bandaged hands.

"Good, I'm glad. Where's Lindsay? I thought she was here with you guys."

"I made her go get some food, coffee, a change of clothes… really, anything to get her out of here. She was driving me nuts! Can't get to Danny, so…" his mouth quirked into a half smile.

Stella laughed, relieved that he still had his sense of humor. "I can imagine. I requested a room for him down the hall from you, so you'll be near each other when we can't be here. I don't imagine that'll be often," She said with a smirk, "And Don and Sheldon are on their way." Stella grimaced, looking down at herself. "I hope they hurry. Hawkes is bringing me dry clothes."

Stella attempted to relax into the rather uncomfortable hospital chair and the pair lapsed into silence. Adam turned his gaze to the window, and Stella, aware that Adam hadn't really answered her question, kept her gaze on him. She watched as he fidgeted nervously, shooting her more and more frequent glances.

Suddenly, Adam burst out, "Stella, I'm so sorry! You, Mac, Hawkes… It was my fault. I shouldn't have told them, should have been stronger… I'm so sorry…" He trailed off as his breath hitched into sobs. "And then I couldn't warn Danny in time… and could barely help him… and his hand… and getting beat… oh god…"

Stella rocketed out of her chair and had her arms around his shuddering body before he'd finished his first sentence.

"Shhh, Adam. Hush now. This was not your fault, baby. NOT. YOUR. FAULT." She cuddled next to him on the narrow bed and pillowed his head into her shoulder. Rubbing his back, she continued to murmur that it wasn't his fault, that he'd be ok. She wasn't surprised that he was harboring all this guilt. She just hoped they'd be able to make him realize that it truly wasn't his fault, that he was just a victim. Listening to his heart wrenching sobs, she could feel her own eyes begin to tear up. She squeezed her own eyes tightly closed and sighed. _This is not about you, Stella. Adam needs you right now. That's what matters,_ she told herself firmly. Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, Stella looked toward the door. She saw it silently open, and Sheldon's head peaked around it.

She watched him take in the scene, concern darkening his eyes as they returned to Stella's. "10 minutes?" she mouthed at him. He nodded, then carefully closed the door as silently as he'd opened it. As Stella predicted, Adam's sobs began to slow about 5 minutes later, and finally, they stopped. Easing back, Stella dropped a soft kiss on his forehead, smoothing his hair back with one hand. "Better?" she asked quietly. Mutely, Adam nodded, and leaned back into his pillows. Stella grabbed a tissue out of the box on the bedside table and handed it to him. "Here. I'm surprised Flack and Hawkes haven't…" She trailed off as her phone beeped. _Trust Hawkes to think of that,_ she thought as she grabbed the phone and checked the caller's ID. To Adam, she said, "Speak of the devil. Hawkes." Opening the phone, she said with a smile, "Bonasera."

"Hey, Stel. Safe now?"

"Sure, Hawkes. Come on up. We're in 810. When he's out of surgery, Danny'll be in 816."

"Sure. We'll be there in about a minute."

Closing the phone, she smiled at Adam. "They're on the way up. Ready for company?"

"Sure. Not sure how much longer I'll be awake, though," he said, exhaustion evident in his voice.

Stella smiled, not really surprised to hear that. After a catharsis like that, following a day like he'd had, she was willing to bed that Adam would be asleep within half an hour. _If _he lasted that long.

When the knock came, she called them in.

"Hey, Adam! It's good to see you!" Flack's enthusiasm was contagious.

"You saw me at the warehouse, Don," Adam said dryly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but you look much better now," Flack teased, coming over to put a hand on Adam's shoulder.

Sheldon had entered behind Flack, a gym bag in hand. Before he had a chance to say anything, Stella's eye landed on the bag and she leaped off of Adam's bed.

"Are those the clothes? _Dry _clothes?" All three men burst out laughing at the excitement in Stella's voice, and Hawkes nodded. Stella dashed over and snatched the bag out of his hand, again making all three men laugh. Gathering her dignity, Stella walked sedately to the door, bag firmly in hand. Turning, she pinned them with a glare. "I trust I can leave to change without any of you doing anything dumb?" The men attempted to assume innocent expressions, but only Hawkes pulled it off. They all nodded, still chuckling at her, and Stella sailed out the door. If she couldn't have her hot shower, hot dinner, and 14 hours of uninterrupted sleep, she was, by god, going to have dry clothes.

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Back in the room, the men looked at each other. "I wonder what would have happened had I tried to take the bag of clothes away," Flack said musingly.

Hawkes and Adam looked at him, horrified. "Good thing you didn't, man, I'd have hated to perform your autopsy!" Hawkes said in disbelief. The three looked at each other, and burst out laughing again.


	4. Tension

A/N: Here's chapter 4… I have a bunch of them done, so as long as I remember to, I'll be posting one everyday until I run out of finished material. I hope you're enjoying it…

Also, I'm beginning to understand why so many authors ask for reviews. There's a little piece of me that's dieing to know what you're all thinking of it and there's a part of me that really doesn't want to know :-p So… I guess review if you want, I'd appreciate it as long as it's not a flame…

Also, Happy birthday to me 

**Chapter 4: Tension**

Hunting down a nurse, Stella asked if there was any place she could shower. There wasn't, unfortunately (she'd known it was a stretch, but she'd had to try), but the nurse pointed her to a rarely used ladies' room so that Stella could dry off and change in relative peace.

Making her way down the hall to the bathroom, Stella was relieved to see that it was a single, with just the stall and a sink. She locked the door and dropped the bag, wasting no time in beginning to strip. Unbuttoning her pants, she toed off her shoes and began to peel the saturated material down her legs. Sighing with relief as she kicked the damp material away, she snagged a handful of paper-towels and wiped the lingering dampness off her legs. Crossing her arms over her belly, she grasped the hem of her shirt and began to peel it up and off her body.

The sob caught her unaware and off balance and knocked her against the bathroom wall. Pulling the shirt over her head, she slid down the wall, curling into a fetal position, hugging her knees into her chest and crying into the already damp shirt. All the emotions of the day came pouring out of her, releasing a small amount of the tension she hadn't realized was building. It had neared its breaking point with Adam, she realized now, as she began to cry harder. Adam, with his innocence and goodness, scarred now, irrevocably; not just scars on his body but on his mind and emotions as well. Thinking about Adam led to thoughts of Danny, and her body began to shake with the force of her sobs. _Why Danny?_ She thought. _Hasn't he been through enough?_

The tears stopped as suddenly as they had begun, as though someone had turned off a faucet inside of her. Stella shakily sat back against the wall, working to bring her shuddering breath back under control. Realizing that she was still cradling her wet sweater, she used it to mop her face. Pulling it the rest of the way off her arms, she looked at it, and tossed it away, onto her pants. In only a bra and panties, she stood up and walked shakily over to the sink. She grabbed another handful of paper towels and used them to dry the rest of her body off.

Walking back over to the bag Sheldon had brought her, she unzipped it and began to investigate her new clothes. What she found nearly brought her to tears again. He'd gone out and bought a brand-new pair of boxers and a wife-beater so that she wouldn't have to keep wearing her damp underwear. Removing her damp panties and bra without hesitation and tossing them into the pile created by her pants and sweater, she ripped into the wife-beater package and pulled it on. _Not as supportive as a bra,_ she mused, _but much better then either nothing at all or a wet bra!_ The boxers were just as welcome, and she was much more comfortable in seconds. Finding a navy blue t-shirt with NYPD stenciled across it in block letters, she smiled and put it on. At the bottom was a pair of track-pants, also navy, which she also pulled on. She sighed in relief at the feeling of dry clothes before turning to the mirror to attempt to tame her wild mass of curls.

5 minutes later, Stella walked out of the bathroom and back down the hall to where she could see Flack and Hawkes sitting.

"Adam fall asleep?" She called to them. Both of them jumped slightly, not having noticed her approach.

Flack nodded, and Hawkes said, "Yeah. I wasn't surprised." He looked her up and down, then said, "You look much more comfortable."

"Yeah, thanks to you," she answered, smiling. "Seriously, thank you _so _much, Sheldon. You thought of everything."

Dropping into a seat next to them, she asked them both, "Have we heard from Lindsay yet?"

"Yeah, she called to let us know she was on her way back and to ask if we wanted her to pick anything up. She should be here momentarily with our Chinese," Flack said with a grin.

"Good thought on the food, huh?" Hawkes added smugly, with a look at Flack.

Stella grinned. "Absolutely. Again, many thanks." Leaning over, she gave him a swift hug. "I hope she brings plenty," she said, straightening up. "I'm starved!"

15 minutes later, Lindsay came barreling down the hall, two giant bags in each hand.

"Geez, Monroe, how much food did you get?" Flack asked in disbelief.

"Well, I figured we might be here for a while," she said breathlessly, setting the bags down. "And this way we won't have to go out again for a while."

Stella looked at her gratefully. "Good thinking, Linds. What'd you get?"

"Pretty much one of everything I knew we liked, with several of the veggie lo meins and Broccoli and Chickens."

"Awesome!" Flack said enthusiastically. "There plates and stuff in there too?"

"You kidding?" Lindsay smirked. "I thought of everything – plates, napkins, forks, chopsticks, soy sauce, duck sauce…" She trailed off as Flack raised his hands in surrender and laughed. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry I doubted you." He shook his head and muttered to Hawkes, "She _has _to have been a girl scout." Lindsay immediately turned and glared at him. "I heard that!" she complained. "Just for that, you get last pick." Turning away, she added, "And as a matter of a fact I was!"


	5. News

A/N: Here's chapter 5! It's short, but it's kind of a jumping to the next one. There've been over 700 hits... and only 3 reviews. I'm seriously understanding the begging for reviews... not at that point myself, though. If you review, again, please be nice... constructive criticism is great and loved and welcomed, but flames are not... Enjoy...

**Chapter 5: News**

The four of them took their time eating, occasionally checking on Adam, who continued to sleep soundly. As they were packing up the leftover food, a nurse came down the hall towards them.

"Detectives?" She asked. They all looked up, coming swiftly to their feet.

"Yes?" Stella said, coming forward.

"You asked for news on Detective Daniel Messer?"

Lindsay moved to stand next to Stella, tension evident in her body as the guys moved to flank the women. Stella glanced at Lindsay, surprised at the grim look on her face. _Hmm, _she thought. _I wonder if something's finally happened between those two. I'll have to grill her later._ The thought of her two friends _finally_ getting together made Stella smile briefly as she returned her attention to the nurse.

"Yes, we did. There's news?" Stella asked, putting a hand on Lindsay's shoulder.

"Yes. Detective Messer is out of surgery and in recovery one. He's woken up but…" Glancing at their faces, the nurse rushed on. "He seems disoriented."

"Disoriented how?" Hawkes asked in his 'Doctor' voice.

"He… well, he seems to think he's in Montana. Keeps repeating it, won't settle down. His surgeon's consulting a neurologist…" the nurse trailed off again, startled by the grins on the detectives' faces, and the startling blush rising on the younger woman's cheeks.

Hawkes stepped forward, chuckling slightly, and put his hand on Lindsay's other shoulder. "I'm doctor Sheldon Hawkes. I think I can save you some time. Detective Messer's not confused, ma'am, he's asking for this young woman right here."

The nurse looked at Lindsay, confusion evident on her face. Lindsay cleared her throat, then said, "He calls me Montana. Can I see him? It might help."

The nurse nodded. "I'll call his surgeon and set it up. Come with me, Detective…" The nurse paused, clearly waiting for a name.

"Oh, sorry, Detective Lindsay Monroe," Lindsay supplied.

"Detective Monroe." Turning to the others, the nurse said, "As soon as the doctor is sure that Detective Messer really isn't disoriented, he'll be moved to recovery two, then brought down here. He should be in his room in about an hour, and you all can see him then. I'll send Detective Monroe back down shortly."

Stella nodded as Lindsay and the nurse walked away. "Give him our love, Linds. Tell him we'll be waiting for him." Lindsay looked back, nodded once and entered the elevator. Temporarily forgetting about Flack and Hawkes still standing there, Stella's shoulders slumped as she sighed and covered her eyes. Observing this, Flack and Hawkes exchanged a look, Flack's eyes asking a question. Hawkes shook his head no, and Flack nodded.

"I'm gonna go see if Adam's up yet," Stella said abruptly, uncovering her face. The tension was rising in her again, but she thought she could fight it back down if she could only be alone for a while. She turned, walked into Adam's and shut the door. Sitting down in the chair still next to Adam's bed, she watched him sleep, zoning out until a small moan broke her reverie.

Focusing on Adam, she noticed that his sleep had become restless; his body was tense, his head was tossing back and forth on the pillow, his face caught in a frown. He moaned again, then tensed up further and muttered, "No… no… please… NO!" His voice rose sharply, ending in a near scream. Stella shot out of the chair and leaned over Adam, shaking his shoulders in an attempt to wake him up. "Adam, Adam, it's ok, hun, you're safe. You're ok. It was just a dream." Slowly, his eyes opened. His body began to shake as tears filled his eyes again.

"Stella?" he whispered, and the pain in his voice broke Stella's control.

"Shh, Adam, it's ok, I'm here. You're safe. It was just a dream." Her own eyes filling with tears, Stella gathered Adam to her and let him cry it out again, crying her own silent tears into his hair.


	6. Planning

A/N: Here's chapter six, in which much discussion happens. Enjoy… and if you feel the need, review, but be nice!

**Chapter 6: Planning**

Unnoticed by either of them this time, Hawkes had stuck his head in the room when he'd heard Adam's scream. Observing their tears for a second, he ducked back out of the room and turned to Flack, frowning.

"Not good?" Flack asked softly, gesturing to the room.

Sheldon shook his head. "No. She's close, Don. She's in there crying with Adam."

Don winced. "How long, do you think?"

"I don't really know. I'd guess not long. She's in the running for the title of 'superwoman' for having held it together this long." He paused, considering. "Should we let Lindsay in on what's going on? I know they're close…"

Flack hesitated. "I don't know. She's pretty preoccupied with Danny, and if she knows that Stella's in trouble too… Besides, at least one of us needs to stay here with the boys, and it may as well be her. God knows it'll likely take everything both of us have to put Stel back together. But… maybe she should know."

Sheldon thought about this, then nodded. "I wouldn't want to be the one to tell her that Mac left without even asking about Adam and Danny. She's gonna be furious anyway, about that. Let's not tell her about that… but maybe we could tell her about Stella when we have to leave."

"Yeah, I think she should know about both eventually. I'm pissed at Mac, and I know you are too, and I think Linds needs to know about how he's treated Stella. We're gonna hafta have a chat with him when he gets back; I'd kinda like her support on that."

"Good point. Maybe we should just tell her when she comes back down so that she's not surprised if we have to gunning out of here after Stel suddenly."

Flack nodded. "Maybe we should just not mention anything to her about his not asking about the boys."

The two men were so involved in their conversation that they had neglected to notice the footsteps coming in their direction. Both jumped when a familiar voice came from behind them.

"What? Who didn't ask about the boys?" Lindsay questioned, looking from Flack to Hawkes as both turned. "And where's Mac? I guess I assumed he was doing debrief stuff, but that should be over by now, right? Maybe I should call him…"

Flack swore lightly as Hawkes put his hand on hers, stopping the motion. "Don't bother, Linds. He won't answer."

"Why not?" she asked skeptically. "Mac always answers his phone."

Hawkes looked at her. "He can't. It's against the law to have cell phones on during flight." Seeing her confused look, Hawkes sighed. "Linds… Mac's on his way to London."

"….huh?" She asked in complete astonishment. Flack stepped over, glancing at Adam's door.

"Peyton asked him to go with her. My guess? They left straight from the lab this afternoon, maybe stopping off to pack. He… he didn't even give me time to tell him about Danny and Adam," Flack told her, voice quiet. "Just left. Tossed the reins of the lab and it's cleanup in Stella's lap and left." Now anger began to tinge his tone.

"Linds. Stella's not ok." The quiet intensity in Hawkes' voice scared her. "She's trying to hide it, and has been doing ok, but she's nearing her breaking point, and _fast._ We're gonna take care of that when it happens, but we wanted you to know in case it turns out that we can't handle it," he finished grimly.

Lindsay was shocked at what she was hearing. Mac had just… left? Abandoning his lab and Stella? And he hadn't even asked about Danny and Adam? That was completely unlike him, and especially not to have called them since. _Though he couldn't_, she supposed, _since he was on a plane_. Feeling the slow stirrings of her temper begin to rumble, Lindsay focused on what Hawkes had said.

"Shouldn't I be the one to handle Stel?" Lindsay asked hesitantly. She didn't really want to leave Danny, but if Stella needed her, she'd go. After all, Stella had been there for her.

Hawkes and Flack looked at each other and Hawkes shook his head. "We think it'd be better for you to stay here. If Stella's at the point we think she is, it won't matter who's there at first, and by the time she notices, she'll be too far in to stop. Someone has to stay with Adam and Danny; both of them are more likely to open up to you then they would to us. Besides, you don't actually _want_ to leave Danny, do you?" Hawkes said slyly.

"No, but…" Lindsay answered without thinking. At Flack and Hawkes' grins, she gasped and covered her mouth as color flooded her cheeks.

"Something DID happen!" Flack said with glee. "I knew it!"

Lindsay glared at the men. "Not a word, guys. This is our deal. We'll tell you when we're ready."

"Well hurry up already! You guys have been heading for this for months, and we're tired of waiting!" Flack said unrepentantly, grin firmly in place.

The trio glanced over as Adam's door opened and Stella appeared. Taking a good look at her, all three narrowly avoided flinching. Tearstains were evident on her face, and her shoulders were slumped.

"He's sleeping," she said quietly, hoping they wouldn't notice the hoarseness and strain in her voice. They nodded, not fooled. She closed the door behind her, and leaned against it, shutting her eyes. The three exchanged glances but were spared having to talk by the return of the nurse.

"Detectives? Detective Messer is on his way down."


	7. Crumbling

A/N: Hey, guys, sorry for the delay. The last several days have been kinda crazy. But here's chapter 7. The next couple chapters are some of my favorites; I hope you guys like them as much as I enjoyed writing them. 

As always, review if you feel the need to (I do like getting them) but no flames please!

Also, I should prolly start adding disclaimers, since that totally escaped me at the beginning, so here it is: They're not mine. I'm just borrowing them for a while. I promise to return them in something resembling their original conditions.

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**Chapter 7: Crumbling**

Still slumped against the wall, Stella squeezed her eyes more tightly closed. She was crumbling, slowly now, but her walls and defenses were breaking in what would soon be an avalanche. She knew should could hold it together long enough to see Danny; beyond that, it was anyone's best guess. She just hoped she could get away before anyone noticed that something bigger was wrong.

She opened her eyes, defenses barely in place, at the ding of the elevator. She, Flack, Hawkes and Lindsay watched the doors open, and they all broke into a grin as they watched Danny arguing with the orderly steering his wheelchair, about the necessity of said wheelchair.

Seeing him nearly ruined Stella's hastily resurrected defenses. His heavily bandaged hand was resting on his lap, on the blanket that had been draped over his legs. Most of his face was covered in newly emerging bruises, and he was breathing shallowly, in deference to his bruised and possibly cracked ribs. Feeling the emotions start to storm through her, she prayed for just a little more time and ruthlessly squashed them back down. Forcing herself to smile, she pushed off the door to Adam's room.

"Danny! Behave!" She called down the hall to him.

His gaze snapped over to her, then traveled over the others, lingering on Lindsay before swinging back to Stella.

"Stel! Hey, tell this guy that it was my _hand_ that got smashed, not my foot!" he called back with a smile, a hint of a whine present in his voice.

"Sir, you just came out of surgery!" The orderly replied, obviously exasperated.

"Danny, you need to let him do his job. You're likely still woozy from the general, and you've had a rough day," Hawkes said in his sternest 'Doctor' voice.

"Aww, man. C'mon, Doc!" Danny whined.

Hawkes just looked at him. Danny was the first to look away, and mumbled something uncomplimentary under his breath as the orderly wheeled him into his room.

"Watch it, Messer, or I'll have them pull your morphine drip. Now behave and let the man do his job," Hawkes said, strolling into the room behind the orderly.

"Man, you're mean, Doc," Danny muttered as the orderly helped him into bed. He stopped his grumbling when Lindsay stepped up to the bed and grabbed his good hand.

"You look like hell, man," Flack said.

Danny turned his head and glared at Flack. "At least it's temporary for me. What's your excuse?" he shot back.

"Hey, I get no complaints," Flack smirked.

Lindsay sighed. "Boys. Behave. Please?"

They turned to look at her, amused by the pleading in her voice, as if she didn't expect her request to be headed.

"Alright, Montana. We'll play nice."

"Yeah, but only cuz you asked so nicely," Flack chimed in.

Absorbed in the banter between the friends, no one noticed Stella slip out of the room.

A short while later, during a lull in the conversation, Danny suddenly spoke up. "Hey, where'd Stella go? I wanted to ask her about Mac."

Flack and Hawkes shot out of their chairs, exchanging a panicked look. Lindsay shot them a quelling glance when Danny looked at them, confused. "She probably just went to check on Adam. Hawkes and Flack will go check. I'll stay here," she said firmly.

"Look who's being the mommy of the team now," Danny teased as Flack and Hawkes hurried out of the room. His smile faded as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Alright, Linds, what's going on?"

She didn't answer, knowing that her cell phone was about to ring_. How long had Stel been gone_? She thought frantically. _A minute? 10? How would they find her now? _Glancing at her watch, she realized they'd only been visiting with Danny for about 15 minutes. When her phone rang, she answered.

"Did you find her?" she asked Flack.

"No, Linds. She's not in Adam's room. He hasn't seen her. We woke him up to ask. Damn it!" He suddenly cursed.

"Don't worry about it, Don. You guys'll find her."

"I should have been watching her! I knew how close we thought she was!"

"Don't think about that now. If it helps, I think she's probably only had about a 10-minute head start, at the most. I'll hold down the fort here. You go find her."

"Thanks, Linds. We'll call when we know something." With that, Flack hung up and turned to Sheldon as they impatiently waited for the elevator. "Lindsay thinks she's got about a 10-minute lead on us. Where do we think she'd go?"

They stepped into the elevator. Hawkes pressed the button for the Lobby, then answered. "Someplace safe? Where she could be alone to cry, where no one would see her weakness?" Hawkes suggested.

"Yeah, but where's that, Doc?" Flack groaned. "The lab's out… her apartment?" Flack looked at Hawkes. "Would that be somewhere she'd consider safe, after Frankie?"

Hawkes shrugged. "I don't know, man. Worth a shot, right?"

Flack nodded and the two men strode out of the hospital. Flagging a cab, they jumped in and Flack gave the driver Stella's address, forever imprinted on his memory from the day he'd had to break her door down.


	8. Fracture

A/N: Hi, guys. Here's chapter 8, in which we switch points of view many times. I like this chapter for some reason, and here's where we're getting into the reason I (maybe mistakenly) rated this story M. Something like this happened to me a few years ago, so I kinda know what I'm talking about.

I really hope you guys enjoy this, and for those of you that have reviewed, thank you SO much. I really appreciate it. As usual, if you feel like reviewing, please no flames  And also, Nothing but the idea/plot of this story is mine…

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**Chapter 8: Fracture**

Stella had felt her defenses buckle shortly before her control had fractured. Watching the by-play between her team, she couldn't help thinking about Mac, and how he should have been there. They were a family of sorts, weren't they? Taking care of each other, supporting each other, even loving each other, in their own ways. Knowing that he wouldn't be there, wouldn't be coming there, and knowing that her control was gone, Stella had silently left the room.

She'd walked blindly to the elevator, pushed the button, before deciding to take the stairs. She crossed her arms protectively over her chest as she descended the 8 flights of stairs, crossed the wide expanse of the hospital lobby, and then walked out of the front doors. From there, she randomly picked a direction and started walking. She never noticed that she was crying, the tears silently pouring down her face as the emotions roiled through her. She didn't have any idea how long she'd been walking when she eventually found a bench and sat, staring into nothing.

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Flack and Hawkes pounded on Stella's door for 10 minutes before concluding that she wasn't there.

"Shit! Where is she?!" Hawkes swore.

"I dunno, man, but she's gotta come back here sometime, right? I say we wait for her," Flack said, clearly agitated.

"Yeah, but maybe we should wait outside. I mean, if she sees us, she might leave again, right?" Hawkes suggested.

Flack nodded. "Yeah. Let's go find a bench." The two trudged down the stairs and out into the warm May air.

"Hey," Hawkes said. "Look at the bright side. At least it's not December!"

Flack laughed as the pair sat down to wait.

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Back at the hospital, Lindsay was trying desperately to calm Danny down.

_Trying_, she thought, _and failing miserably_. So far his yelling hadn't attracted any attention, but that was surely only a matter of time.

"Danny, please," she tried again. "Flack and Hawkes will take care of Stella. You need to stay calm."

"Calm?!" Danny was livid. Some things you just didn't do! Like abandoning the person who got you through… well, through everything to go globe hopping with your girlfriend! Or leave two valued co-workers in the hospital! Or leave the lab in pieces! "I won't be calm for weeks! That bastard! How could he just leave, Linds? Leave us, leave _her_ to clean up his mess?!"

"I know, Danny," she sad, trying for soothing. "I'm pissed too, trust me. I know Flack's livid, and I don't think I've seen Sheldon this furious since the Shane Casey thing. Stella seems to be the only one not angry, and I'm sure that's just because she's in the midst of her own place right now. We're going to talk to him when he gets back, but in the mean time, we have to keep it together. Help Stella, help Adam, help you get well. I'm almost positive Stel wouldn't want Mac" – Lindsay spat his name out like it left a bad taste in her mouth – "to know about what's going on, so we're going to have to do it ourselves. Damn that man!"

She'd lost control of herself during her speech, her tone getting angrier and angrier; her movements getting more and more agitated until she had gotten up to pace. She came back to the bed as Danny started to speak, his own anger and agitation set aside. There'd be time enough for that, he figured. For now, she was right.

"I know, Linds. Hawkes and Flack _will_ find her. They'll let us know what needs to be done with her." His tone darkened. "And we _will_ be havin' a conversation with Mac when he gets back."

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"Miss? Are you ok? Miss?"

Stella slowly became aware of her surroundings, fighting the fog that seemed to be surrounding her, aware of the voice coming from somewhere near by. She was dimly aware that it was not the voice she wanted to hear. Squinting in the direction of that voice, she saw an older man wearing a street cop's uniform.

"Ma'am?" the cop said again.

Stella opened her mouth and tried to speak, but nothing came out. She hastily cleared her throat and tried again. "Where… where am I?" She asked hoarsely.

The cop frowned and started to speak. Stella stopped him with a wave of her hand.

"I know who I am, and that I'm in New York City. I just don't know what part of New York I'm in. I'm a detective with the CSI division. I work closely with Detective Don Flack, Jr., and under Mac Taylor. I promise you I'm completely lucid." Her tone strengthened, but remained curiously flat.

The cop nodded. "Ok. You're in the Bronx."

Stella sighed. That was more then a mile from the hospital, and nearly 2 from her apartment. "Alright, officer, thank you. I'll be on my way now."

"Do you need a ride anywhere, Detective?" he asked.

"No, thanks. I'm fine walking."

Watching the detective walk away down the street, he picked up his phone. "Dispatch? Could you get me Mac Taylor and Don Flack, Jr.'s numbers?" Scribbling them both down on a spare coffee receipt, he repeated them back, then said, "Thanks."

Dialing the first number, he turned to his partner. "Let's trail her. I'm not comfortable with the way she looked. I'll follow on foot; you stay close with the car in case she runs into trouble." His partner nodded and started the car.


	9. Distanced

A/N: Here's chapter 9. enjoy… review if you want, but no flames please. Also, please see the a/n after you read this.

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**Chapter 9: Distanced**

After 4 hours of sitting on the bench across the street from Stella's apartment, to say that they were worried would be an understatement. Even the normally unshakeable Hawkes was clearly rattled by her disappearance. At some point, Flack had left to grab food and coffee and came back in an under-cover police car. "It might come in handy to have the flashing lights," he explained to Hawkes, who could only agree.

"Where could she have gone? What could have happened? Who knows what she could have done in her state of mind!" He ranted for the 6th time in the last hour. Flack sighed and nodded again.

"I know, Sheldon. We're gonna find her. She'll come home eventually," Flack told him.

Just then, Flack's cell phone rang. Glancing at the ID, he frowned at a number he didn't know. Flipping it open, he answered.

"Flack."

"Is this Detective Don Flack, Jr.?" an unknown male voice at the other end asked.

"Yeah, it is. Who's this?"

"My name's Mitch Edwards, I'm a patrol cop assigned to the Bronx."

"Alright, Edwards, what can I do for you?"

The man on the other end hesitated. "By any chance are you… missing someone?"

Flack jolted upright, catching Hawkes' attention. "What? What is it?" Hawkes whispered urgently. Flack waved a hand at him, focused on the conversation.

"You could say that. Why?"

"I think I may have found her."

"Where? How? Is she still there?" Flack jumped up, grabbing the car keys out of his pocket and waving Hawkes to the car.

"She's walking. My partner's following with the cruiser." He paused. "And… she's in the Bronx."

"What the hell?! That's nearly a mile from the hospital!"

Edwards was alarmed. "Is she a danger? Do we need to take her into custody?"

"Nah, she's not dangerous. We think she's having a breakdown. Can you keep following her, and give me updates on where she is? We're on our way. And how did she look?"

Edwards sighed. "She looked… broken, man. Her eyes were glassy and she didn't know where she was. Turned down a ride, just walked away. Said she knew who she was and gave us yours and Mac Taylor's names. I called him, but his phone was off."

Flack swore violently. "Fuck! You didn't leave a message, did you?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't very specific. Couldn't be, since she never gave her name."

"What'd you tell him?" Flack demanded.

"Just that there was a woman here looking very disoriented who had given me his name as her boss and to give me a call back if I should hold her."

Flack exhaled. "Ok. We should be able to work with that. Thanks. I'll call you when we're closer so you can tell me where she is, ok?" Receiving confirmation, Flack hung up.

"What? What's going on?" Hawkes burst out.

Flack heaved a sigh, eyes on the road. "A patrol cop found her. In the Bronx. Said she was disoriented, but lucid enough to give him my name and to tell him that she worked under Mac. Who he called first. And left a voicemail."

"Shit!" Sheldon swore.

"Yeah, I know. We'll deal with that when it comes. In the mean time, call Linds, let her know that we've found Stella and are on our way to get her. Then we need to focus everything on Stel."

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The men called Edwards back about 30 minutes later, and got the name of the street she was currently walking down. He said he'd stay on her, and they remained on the phone until Hawkes and Flack pulled onto the street where she was. Finding a parking spot, they hurried to catch up with Edwards, who was waving them over.

"Good to meet you, Detective Flack," Edwards said, clipping his phone to his belt.

"Same to you. Where is she?"

Edwards pointed. When they looked, they could see the familiar curly hair. That was the only thing that resembled the Stella that Flack and Hawkes knew. Her head was down, her hands shoved into the pockets of her borrowed track pants. She was wandering aimlessly, not watching where she was going, and not really walking in a straight line. Flack looked back at Edwards. "We'll take it from here, man. Thanks." Edwards nodded, jogged over to the door of the cruiser that had just pulled up, and got in. They watched the patrol car pull away, then jogged closer to Stella.

"How should we play this? Do we both talk to her? Just one? What do we say?" Flack asked Hawkes quietly, eyes on Stella's unsteady figure. Hawkes shrugged. "I'm gonna go on instinct. Want me to try first?"

Flack nodded, and Hawkes quickly moved up until he was next to Stella. He stole a glance at her; she looked bad. Glassy, vacant eyes were set in slack face, body speaking to defeat. He put a hand on her shoulder when she didn't notice him. "Stella?" He said softly.

She looked up at him. "Hawkes." She said, so softly that he almost didn't hear her. His heart broke a little at the defeat in her voice. "Hawkes?" She said again, as if questioning his appearance.

"Stella. Are you ok?"

She didn't answer, and that was answer in itself. He stopped walking, the hand on her shoulder stopping her as well. She turned and looked at him, seeing Flack as well. Her eyes welled with tears. "Both of you? Why?"

Flack stepped up and took one of her hands. "Because we care, Stella. Come home now, ok?"

She nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks, and they led her over to their car.

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A/N2: One of my friends found me the way I describe Stella looking. Even now, 3 years later, she won't talk about it. I know now that I probably should have gotten help. Please do, if something like this happens to you or someone you love.


	10. Complications

A/N: Hey, guys. Here's chapter 10, in which Mac the bonehead finally makes contact. Hope you enjoy it.

The response to this story has been overwhelming -- thank you SO much for all the lovely reviews. I'm SO glad you're enjoying this. As always, reviews are welcomed (are my characterizations ok? I've been wondering this...) but please no flames! Also as always, I don't own them. Sad.

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**Chapter 10: Complications**

The ringing of a phone woke her. Groaning, Lindsay, without opening her eyes or moving from her place in Danny's hospital bed, reached into her pocket, and grabbed it, flipping it open without checking the ID.

Figuring it was either Flack or Hawkes, she answered, "What's wrong? I thought you found her?"

There was silence on the other end. "Lindsay?"

Suddenly she was wide awake. "Mac?" She asked incredulously. Why was Mac calling her? "Do we have a case?"

He chuckled briefly. "No, Linds, I'm in London, remember?"

Now she did. And she also remembered her anger. "Oh. Yeah. What can I do for you then?" Her tone was noticeably cooler, and he hesitated, obviously surprised.

"Well… I got this message from a patrol cop, and it sounded like he was either describing you or Stella, so I was wondering what was going on over there. And since you're answering your phone and Stella's doesn't appear to be on…" Mac trailed off.

Lindsay didn't say anything for a minute, looking down at Danny sleeping next to her. "I can't say anything, Mac. Maybe you should try Flack or Hawkes."

"Lindsay, what's going on?" Mac's tone had shifted into "Boss", but Lindsay was unmoved.

"Mac, I honestly can't tell you anything. Or won't tell you anything. Either way, try either Hawkes or Flack. But don't try Danny or Adam; they need their rest." She considered stopping there, then threw in, "Doctor's orders." Just before snapping her phone shut, ending the call.

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. Bringing her hand down, she saw Danny's blue eyes staring up at her. She smiled softly. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to wake you."

He smiled. "Doesn't matter." His voice was gravelly with sleep. "Who 'as 'at?" She sighed again, then looked at her phone. "It was Mac," she admitted.

He came awake quickly. "And you didn't let me have the phone to yell at 'im?!" He asked, angrily. She pushed him back down to the pillows and settled her head on his chest to keep him from moving again. "No, baby, I didn't. I did, however, refuse to give him any information about anything. And I told him not to call you or Adam cuz you needed your rest on the Doctor's orders just before hanging up on him." She said smugly.

He thought about this, then smirked. "He's gonna be freakin' out, Montana. Nice one."

"I thought so too. Now go back to sleep, cowboy."

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By unspoken agreement, Hawkes sat in the back of the car with Stella. She was still crying and hadn't said anything else by the time they reached her apartment. They parked the car, then walked Stella up to her apartment. She let them all in, dropped her keys on the table, then stood there, staring vacantly around her.

Hawkes took over. Moving to stand in front of Stella, he lifted her chin to look her directly in the eyes. Speaking softly and clearly, he said, "Stella, you should go have a shower. Don and I will be here, and we'll make some dinner. Then you can go to bed. Ok?"

She nodded, looking lost, then moved in the direction of her bathroom. The men watched her go, almost unbearably sad.

Flack shifted restlessly as he took off his jacket and tie. "Did you think it'd be this bad?" he asked Hawkes.

Sheldon shook his head. "No. I think she's just pulled in really far, as a defense mechanism. She'll snap out of it. But until then, she shouldn't be alone. And she shouldn't be at work."

A few minutes later, both men were in Stella's kitchen, trying to figure out where things were while trying to put together a meal when Flack's cell phone rang. He grabbed it, flipped it open, and put it to his ear quickly, trying not to burn the eggs he was scrambling.

"'lo?" He mumbled, focused on his task.

"Flack?"

He jerked in surprise, dropping the phone, then swore as he burned himself on the pan trying to save it from going flying. "Shit. Hawkes, can you take over here? I gotta take this." _Mac_, he mouthed, and Sheldon's eyes widened as he nodded.

Picking the phone back up, he said, "Mac? Still there?"

"Yeah. What just happened?"

"Burned myself," Flack said shortly. "Whadaya need, Mac? I'm in the middle of something here."

"Is Stella with you?"

Flack flinched. "Why do you want to know?"

"Well, I got a message from a patrol officer, about a woman that works for me. Seeing as I already called Lindsay and all she would tell me was to call you and that Danny and Adam were off limits since they were resting on Doctor's orders – what's that about, anyway? -- before hanging up on me, I decided to take her advice and call you. So I'll ask you again, is Stella there?"

"Yeah." Flack answered.

"Put her on, please."

"She's in the shower." Flack was beginning to enjoy this, making Mac work for what he wanted.

Mac sighed. He couldn't understand why both Flack and Lindsay would be angry. Maybe Internal Affairs was hassling them about the bomb he'd made. "Is Hawkes there too? I thought I heard you say his name."

"Yup, he's here too."

"Ok… can I talk to him?"

"No can do, Mac. He's eating right now."

"Ok, what is going on?" Mac asked, beginning to get angry himself.

"Why would you ask a question like that, Mac?" Flack said, his ire audible in his voice.

Mac sighed and decided to drop it for the time being. "Look, would you just have Stella call me when she gets out of the shower?"

"I'll tell her you called, Mac," Flack replied, lying through his teeth. "Whether she calls you back or not is her decision. Nice talking to you, Mac, I gotta go." With that, Flack savagely flipped the phone closed, ignoring Mac's attempted "Wait --!" and glared at it. Relaying the conversation to Hawkes, who was not in fact eating yet, made both men smile, as they both knew that Mac was now likely very angry with them, and very worried. Served him right, by their estimation.

A few minutes later, the men were putting food on the table when Stella came out dressed in flannel pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt. She looked at the table. "Breakfast?"

The men grinned. "Yeah, we thought breakfast for dinner was a great idea," Flack answered.

"Plus, it was the only thing we were certain we could make safely," Hawkes said with an embarrassed laugh. "Turns out neither of us cook very well."

Stella gave a small smile that didn't reach her eyes and sat down. "Thanks guys," she said softly. "This looks good." Flack and Hawkes sat down with her, and they ate quietly, with no conversation. Stella didn't eat much, but they were satisfied that she'd at least eaten something, and didn't force the issue. As soon as they were done, Hawkes stood up and pulled Stella up too. "Go get some sleep. Don and I'll clean up."

She hesitated for a second, then started toward her bedroom. At the doorway, she turned back. "Guys?" She said hesitantly. They looked at her. "Would you… I mean… I really don't want to be alone right now…" she trailed off uncertainly. They understood immediately. "We're not going anywhere, Stella." Hawkes said firmly, and Flack nodded in agreement. "Thanks," she whispered. "There are some blankets in the closet by the door…" and she turned and went into her room, not closing the door.

Flack and Hawkes finished the dishes in silence, both men lost in their own thoughts, with an ear tuned to Stella in case she needed them. When they'd finished, Flack gestured for Hawkes to follow him into Stella's living room.

"Flip you for the couch?" he whispered.

"Nah, thanks, I'm gonna sit in the kitchen for a while. I have a feeling that she's gonna need at least one of us near her," Hawkes whispered back.

Flack nodded. "Ok. Wanna take shifts?"

"Sure. I got first. I'll wake you up in a couple of hours, ok?"

Flack nodded again and started making up the couch as Hawkes walked back into the kitchen. Opening a book he'd pulled off of Stella's shelves, he sat down to keep his vigil.

About an hour later, Hawkes had to get up to stretch. He padded softly to the bedroom door to check on Stella, only to find her staring at the ceiling.

"Stel?" he said quietly. "You ok?"

She didn't look at him, only shook her head mutely. He walked over to the bed and crouched down next to it. She smiled gratefully, but patted the edge of her bed. "You sure?" He didn't want to push too many of her boundaries. She nodded, and he shifted to sit on the edge of her bed at her waist.

"What's wrong, Stella?" he whispered.

She sighed deeply, and Hawkes noticed that there were tears running from the corner of her face down into her ears. He reached out and brushed one away. "Hey, it's ok, we're here," he whispered reassuringly.

"I know," she said so softly he almost didn't hear it. "But why isn't Mac?" Sheldon allowed none of the anger that was now burning through him to surface. He knew she wasn't discounting his presence there; just questioning why her best friend had seemingly abandoned her. "I don't know, hun. I really don't. I wish I did," he said, his soft voice full of regret.

She nodded and looked at him for the first time. "I… I feel so… empty, Sheldon. So broken. So weak," she said hesitantly. "I feel like I'm crumbling under the weight of being the strong person that everyone sees in me. I don't feel strong. I feel small, and brittle and fragile…" her words trailed off as her silent tears began to hitch her breath into sobs. Sheldon moved further onto her bed and gathered her up in his arms. _The catharsis has begun,_ he thought, as her sobs began to grow louder.


	11. Catharsis

A/N: Hey, everyone, sorry for the delay in posting this. It's crazy how busy things can get, especially when you're not expecting to be busy. So, here's chapter 11, in which some more stuff happens. Enjoy, and if you feel the need/desire, review. But remember, no flames please! 

Oh, also, they still don't belong to me. Sadness.

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**Chapter 11: Catharsis**

Turning his head at a soft, "Oh Stel," in the doorway, Sheldon saw Flack. Taking a hand off Stella's back, he waved Don over, knowing she could use to be shown just how much she was loved and cared for. Don nodded, walked over to the other side of the bed, and sat down on Stella's other side.

He reached out and rubbed a hand down Stella's spine, saying, "It's ok, Stel. We're here." She jumped at the hand and voice, but only cried harder when she realized who it was. She reached out and grabbed for Don's other hand, wanting to be connected to both of them. Only vaguely aware of their voices murmuring soothing words, she allowed all the stress, anguish, heartbreak and everyday sorrows that had been building up for the last year… since Aidan's death, really… to pour out of her. She cried until she literally could not cry any more, her eyes burning and swollen, her voice hoarse from sobbing. When it was obvious that the emotional outburst was going to have to take a backseat to physical exhaustion, the two men helped her lay back down and tucked her in. She had yet to let go of either of them, and they sat with her as she waited for sleep to take her. Just as sleep was enfolding her, she whispered something, then her breathing deepened and steadied, and her grip on their hands relaxed.

Both men slipped as silently out of the room as possible, and by silent accord, went into the living room.

"What did she say?" Flack asked quietly, observing Sheldon's pale face.

"'Don't tell Mac.'" Sheldon ran a hand over his face, obviously shaken from what they'd just witnessed. "Did you hear what she said before she started crying?"

Flack shook his head. "It was her sobs that woke me up. What happened?"

Sheldon filled Flack in, and Flack quietly swore when he heard what Stella had said. "How did we all miss this, Doc? How did we all miss that she was feeling this low?"

"I don't know, Don. I think she just hid it so well that none of us really had a reason to look for anything. I know that doesn't excuse it, but… well, some people are really good at projecting only what they want the world to see, and if they don't want you to see something, it won't matter _how _hard you look."

Flack nodded. He knew they all had secrets. "This changes things, though, doesn't it?" He asked uncertainly. "This goes beyond the simple catharsis we thought she needed, right?"

Hawkes nodded back. "Yeah, I think so. I mean, I'm a surgeon and ME, not a psychologist, but…" he looked at Flack. "I think we should call Lindsay. I'm almost positive that it's gonna take all of us to have her ok, especially if Mac keeps calling."

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The next morning, Hawkes woke slowly, back sore from sleeping on the couch. He and Flack hadn't gotten much sleep; Stella had woken 2 more times, each time crying heavily before exhaustion took her back to sleep. Looking around for Flack, Hawkes realized that the shower was running. He got up and stumbled into Stella's kitchen, desperately hoping to find coffee. He found a half full pot on Stella's counter, and began to blearily rummage around in her cupboards in search of mugs.

Flack, sitting unnoticed at the table, grinned at Sheldon's dishevelment. He rarely saw the good doctor so uncollected, and Flack was finding it intensely amusing.

"Need some help there, doc?" Flack asked, grinning.

"Mug. I need a mug." Hawkes muttered urgently. Flack stood up, and grabbed the extra he'd set on the counter next to the coffee pot after his own desperate search. Filling it, he held it in front of Hawkes' face until the man's eyes focused enough to see it. Hawkes quickly grabbed it, and took a deep gulp of it before sighing and moving unsteadily to the table to sit down.

"Thanks, man. I needed that." Picking up the mug again, he took a smaller sip, then asked, "How is she this morning?"

Flack shook her head. "She woke up crying," he said softly. "When it eased, I sent her to take another shower."

Hawkes sighed. "Did you call Lindsay?" He asked. They both were going to have to go back to their own apartments eventually, to change and get their own showers.

"Yeah. She said Danny and Adam are being released today. She's going to take them to their apartments to get a bag of clothes and whatever's perishable in their fridges, then bring them here. Apparently Danny can't be left alone, Adam doesn't want to be left alone, and Lindsay wants to be near Stella, so… it looks like we're all camping out here."

Sheldon groaned. "Man, what're we gonna do for beds?"

Flack laughed. "Linds said she has a double air mattress, and I know I have a single. Maybe Danny or Adam will have another."

"Good point. Did she say when they were being released?"

Flack shook his head. "She said she'd call when she knew for sure."

"Ok. Did we take stock of what food we have, and what –" Sheldon broke off frowning at the sound of a phone ringing from Stella's bedroom. Both men got up and walked quickly to Stella's room. They hadn't noticed the shower turn off, but there she was, wrapped in a towel, staring at her ringing cell phone. Her face was white as a sheet and as they watched, her body began to quake. Flack and Hawkes glanced at each other. "When did she turn it back on?" Flack asked Hawkes under his breath.

"Must've been before the shower. Think it's Mac?" Hawkes answered just as quietly.

"With that look on her face? Oh yeah."

"Shit. Ok. I'll take her, you take the phone."

Flack nodded and both men strode quickly into the room. Hawkes put his hands on Stella's shoulders and turned her towards him. Her eyes were wide, tears threatening, terror easily readable in them, and her body was shaking like a leaf. As he watched, tears began to spill down her cheeks. "Stella. It's ok. You don't have to talk to him," Hawkes said softly. "Flack'll take care of it."

Her shoulders began to shake and she whispered, "Don't tell him… he'll be so disappointed… don't tell him…"

"Ok," Hawkes soothed, glancing at Flack as he led Stella towards her bed. "We won't tell him."

Flack flipped open the phone, as Stella's tears became noisy, violent sobs.

"Yeah."

"…Flack?" Mac could hear what sounded like a woman crying on the other side of the line. "Why are you answering Stella's phone? And who's crying?"

Flack silently swore and strode out of Stella's room, shutting the door behind him.

"What do you need, Mac?" Flack asked impatiently. "We're kinda busy."

"Doing what, Don?" Mac asked calmly, as if he was interrogating a suspect.

"Cleaning up your mess!" Flack shot back, Mac's tone breaking his control. _Shit, keep it together, Don,_ he thought.

"What?" Mac asked, totally bewildered. "Is this about the bomb I rigged?"

"No. Never mind, Mac. What do you need?" Flack had gotten himself back under control and was now just anxious to get back to Stella.

Mac sighed, obviously frustrated. His team was acting oddly, and no one would explain to him what was going on. _That was the problem with phones and distance_, he thought. _No facial expressions to read._ "I was calling to talk to Stella. May I speak to her, please?"

"No. She's a little preoccupied at the moment."

"Damn it, Don, put her on the phone. She never called me back yesterday."

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Mac," Flack said flatly.

"What? Why not?" Flack could hear the hurt in the other man's tone, but felt no sympathy.

"If you really need me to answer that for you, Mac, you're a lot dumber then I thought you were. I gotta go, but don't call Stella's phone again. If you wanna try talking to her, go through one of us." And with that, Flack hung up on Mac again.

Pocketing her phone as he walked back into the bedroom, he could see that Mac's phone call had really shaken Stella up. She was shaking and sobbing harder then either of the men had seen her do last night, and she showed no signs of stopping. Flack sighed, and went to join Hawkes in comforting her.


	12. Disassociation

A/N: Hey, guys. Sorry for the delay (Things got really crazy again) but here's chapter 12. Thank you SO much for all the lovely reviews, I'm so glad you all like this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Now, i have a favor to ask. I have 3 more chapters written after this one, but am having trouble deciding how to close the story, so I thought i'd take a poll. Do you guys want Stel to end up with Mac, Hawkes, or have this be no pairing at all? because I could write it any of those ways, and I can't decide! So please, let me know, cuz i'm seriously stalled on the decision... As usual, anything you recognize isn't mine, and reviews are welcomed, but no flames please!

**Chapter 12: Disassociation**

Flack's cell phone rang half an hour later. Stella had stopped crying, but had pulled entirely into herself and was now sitting on her couch and staring at the blank TV screen. Hawkes was sitting next to her, reading a book and occasionally rubbing her back. Stella showed no signs of having heard the phone ring and she wasn't responding to Hawkes' touches, either. The men were seriously worried, and Flack's voice reflected this as he answered his phone.

"Hey, Linds, what's up?"

"Well, we just got our discharge papers, Danny's arguing about whether he actually needs the wheelchair to get out since Adam's being allowed to walk, and the two of them are arguing about who gets to drive. All in all, I'd say things are returning to normal – at least for these guys." Amusement was clear in her voice and Flack gave an appreciative chuckle. "Neither of them know yet that I'm driving and that's final." Her voice softened. "How're things on your end?"

Flack sighed. "Not good, Linds. Mac called her cell phone this morning, and at first she was totally hysterical, but now she's totally withdrawn. We have no idea what else to try."

Lindsay's voice was ripe with concern. "Ok. I'm gonna hustle these guys outta here; then we'll make 2 lightening speed stops at their apartments. We'll save hitting the grocery until later. Danny knows what's going on, and he's filled Adam in; they both are with us 100, and want to help in any way they can."

"Great, thanks, Linds. Don't forget the air-mattresses and sheets if you're really serious about all of us camping out here."

"I think that's best, don't you? That way she knows we all care about her. Maybe it'll help her snap out of this sooner, ya know?"

"Yeah. Hurry, though, would ya? Hawkes and I are desperate for a shower and some clean clothes!" Flack said with a grimace.

"Sure thing, Don. An hour, hour and a – Hey! Danny! Get back in that chair!" Lindsay shouted suddenly. "Shit, Don, I gotta go, bye!" Flack snapped his phone shut as the line went dead, chuckling. Danny must have decided to try to walk. _More fool, him, _Flack thought with a smile.

Hawkes looked up from his book at Flack's chuckle. "What's going on?"

Flack smiled. "Both guys are being discharged, and Danny's giving them hell about the wheelchair since Adam's being allowed to walk," Flack answered.

Hawkes rolled his eyes. "I guess we know that Danny's ultimately gonna be ok, huh? He sure hasn't lost his ability to be a pain. Will they be here soon? I want a shower," he said plaintively.

Flack nodded. "Lindsay thought about an hour. I think it'd be a good idea if at least one of us stayed here with her, even with the others coming. That way she doesn't think we're leaving her. You can go get your shower and stuff first, though."

"You sure?" Hawkes asked.

Flack waved him off. "Yeah, sure. Just as soon as they're here, though, huh?"

Hawkes just nodded, shifting his gaze back to Stella, concern evident in his eyes.

Nearly an hour later, shouting in the hall outside Stella's apartment startled both men. Flack walked cautiously to the door and opened it a crack, peeking his head around the door. Seeing what was going on in the hallway made him burst out laughing.

Danny and Adam were struggling to keep their duffel bags (filled with clothing, Flack assumed) on their shoulders. They were trying to do this while attempting to use the two good hands they had between them to balance a giant rolled up thing and carry it up the stairs. Lindsay was behind them, another rolled up thing under her arm, a duffel of her own over her shoulder, and her hands full of bags. Danny and Adam were yelling at each other, and Lindsay was yelling at them, and the resulting noise was total chaos. It was clear that they were either going to drop their bags or their rolled up parcel if someone didn't help them, and when Lindsay heard Flack laughing, she pinned him with a glare and shouted over the boys, "Don't just stand there, you idiot, come help us!" Flack obeyed, still laughing. He relieved the boys of their… something, and took some of the bags from Lindsay's hands.

"What is this stuff?" He asked, still chuckling.

"The rolled up thing you're holding is the double air-mattress, the one I'm holding is a single, and the bags are food from the guys' fridges." She rolled her eyes at Danny and Adam, who were still arguing about who had been at fault for nearly dropping their mattress. "Boys! Chill!" She said, exasperation clear in her voice. They didn't even spare her a glance, having heard it before.

"They been a handful?" Hawkes had come to stand in the doorway of Stella's apartment.

"You could say that. You take custody of them, I'm off duty," She said to him, clearly frustrated. He nodded and smiled.

"Danny. Adam. Come sit down. And behave. If you don't, I won't give you your pain pills," Hawkes said calmly in his sternest 'doctor' voice. "I mean it."

They all piled into Stella's apartment, the guys sobering up quickly when they caught sight of Stella, still sitting and staring blankly at nothing. Hawkes took the bags from her and hustled the boys into the kitchen, catching Don's eye and nodding towards the door, giving Flack first shower. Flack quietly gathered his things and opened the front door, saying quietly, "I'll be back soon," and left.

Lindsay sat down next to Stella on the couch and was silent for a moment, just watching her. Eventually, she leaned into Stella, and put an arm around her shoulders, hugging her. Stella seemed to feel this, as she turned and looked at Lindsay blankly. Lindsay watched her glazed eyes struggle to focus as Stella slowly tried to bring herself back to reality.

"…Li…Linds…ay?" Stella said hesitantly, voice hoarse from disuse and crying.

"Yeah, Stella, it's me." Lindsay closed her eyes in relief. Stella had come out of it, and had recognized her. Had either of those things not happened, they would have had to get her some real help. _We may yet still,_ Lindsay thought grimly. She noticed then that Stella's shoulders were shaking again. Realizing that Hawkes and Flack had not over-exaggerated the situation at all, Lindsay gathered her close and rubbed her back while she cried. At least Stella's sobs didn't seem to be as strong as what the guys had reported. Maybe they were making progress, after all.

As they eased, and the tears slowed, Lindsay leaned back far enough to see Stella's face. "Wanna talk about it?" She asked quietly.

Stella was silent for a while, thinking. Lindsay waited patiently, knowing that to push right now could cause Stella to glaze over again.

"How long… since…?"

Lindsay wasn't sure what she meant. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I… remember being in the hospital… walking out… walking for ages… The cop… Don… crying… sleeping… shower…. Then… my phone…" Her breath started to hitch here, and Lindsay pulled her close again.

"He called this morning, Stella, about 6 hours ago," She said softly. Hesitating, she continued, "You're going to have to talk to him eventually, love. He's called me at least 3 times. I just haven't picked up. I know Flack and Hawkes are putting him off, but that can only last for so long."

Stella looked at her, imploring. "I know… but… not yet? I can't handle talking to him yet, not while I'm like this. He'd be so disappointed." Her eyes were bright with tears again.

Lindsay sighed. "I know, and that's fine. But he's not going to tolerate our excuses for very much longer."


	13. Musings

A/N: Hi, guys. Here's chapter 13, in which, as the title suggests, some introspection occurs. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and answered the question I asked last chapter, but there weren't all that many! So guys, let me know how you want to see this story end: Stel/Mac, Stel/Hawkes or no pairing at all. 

Also, could someone educate me as to what a beta is? The impression I have is that it's like a proof-reader, and if I'm anywhere near right, I'm kinda wondering if anyone would be interested in beta-ing the last few chapters of this story for me. They haven't been coming as easily as the rest of it did, and I'm not as confident that the writing is up to par. Let me know if any of you are interested, I'd really really appreciate it!

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**Chapter 13: Musings**

Sitting at her kitchen table, Stella listened with half an ear to the easy banter going on around her. She was aware of them all there, and she knew they were worried about her, but she was reluctant to remove herself from the comfortable fog that had surrounded her, was cushioning her. Every once in a while, she smiled or laughed or made a comment, but mostly she just sat and thought.

Mac's phone call had really thrown her for a loop. She hadn't been prepared, and didn't know why he could possibly be calling. She knew that, while her team was worried, they would respect her wishes and not tell him what was going on unless she gave them a damn good reason to. Since she was pretty sure she hadn't, she wondered what he knew and how he knew it.

Sighing, she rubbed her eyes. She hadn't been prepared for how much it hurt, and how hard it had been, to have to stand alone and be strong when she'd needed to break. In the end, she hadn't been able to do it. Usually, she and Mac worked off of each other, lending and borrowing strength to get each other through the tough spots, like they had during the night they'd spent by Don's bed, willing him to wake up after the bombing. _That's what we do, Mac. We take care of each other._ Recalling her words to him that night, she sighed. Instead of taking care of her team, her family, they were taking care of her, and she had to admit, it felt good. She figured when the fog surrounding her lifted, she be ashamed, but at the moment, it felt good to just… drift, not worry about anything, and let them take care of her and each other.

She also thought vaguely that when she reemerged from this, she might be a little annoyed at the way they'd taken over her apartment. Her little one bedroom was definitely not meant for 6 people to be living in it! She was surprised, though, at how easily she'd adapted to having them all there, all the time. They'd been staying with her for a day now, and she was having a hard time imagining her apartment quiet and empty again. She didn't even want to think about her water bill, though.

"Hey, Stella," Danny called from her living room. " Come 'ere, would ya?"

Smiling slightly, she got up from the kitchen table, leaving Lindsay and Hawkes arguing about what to make for them all for dinner. Turns out cooking enough food for 6 people that everyone liked was a real challenge too. Walking into her living room, she took in the men sprawled around. Spying an empty spot on the couch between Danny and Don, she plopped down between them.

"What's up, Danny?" She asked.

"Well, me'n Flack were wantin' you to settle a dispute between us," he said, his eyes glinting in mischief.

"Sure, what?" Her voice was wary now. Danny and Flack's "disputes" were as legendary as hers and… her mind shied away from thinking about him again and she quickly focused on the man sitting next to her.

"Who do you think's the cutest guy on our team?"

Startled, she burst out laughing. That had definitely _not_ been what she was expecting. And there was not an ice cube's chance in hell that she was answering.

Shaking her head, she said, "Nuh-uh, Danny, no way am I answering that! No matter what answer I give, it'll be held over me forever! Why not ask Lindsay?"

"No way!" Don objected immediately as Danny started to smirk. "She's biased!"

Hmm, yes, Stella'd forgotten about that. As soon as they got another alone moment without all the testosterone around, she'd have to grill Lindsay about what had happened.

"Hmm, yeah, I'd forgotten. Well… to be honest, guys, I don't think I can answer that."

"Why not?" All three men immediately answered. Stella was surprised. Adam had been silent this far in the discussion, and she'd assumed it was just something Danny and Flack were arguing about. "Were you in on this too, Adam?"

He blushed. "Well… yeah, sorta. I don't consider myself part of your team specifically, though, so I thought I could offer an outside opinion when they started arguing about it."

Stella glared at him. "What do you mean you don't consider yourself part of our team?!"

Adam's blush got deeper. "Well… it's just that I do DNA for the other teams too…"

"Adam, you are as much part of our team as Danny or Don here, do you understand me?" She'd unconsciously slipped into her "mom" voice that she used when chiding one of her "children".

Adam nodded. As he started to speak, Danny chimed back in. "Now that we've gotten that outta the way – told ya so, by the way," he directed at Adam, "Could we get back to the topic at hand? Why can't you answer that?"

She smiled. "Because you're all gorgeous, Danny, and you all have your different strengths. It's impossible to pick who's the cutest, cuz I love you all."

Danny blushed. "Aww, Stel."

"Guys, what do you want for dinner?" Lindsay asked, walking into the room. Stella smiled and allowed herself to fade back out as this gradually led to another argument between the guys.

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That night, Stella couldn't sleep. She'd lain in bed for ages, staring at the ceiling, unable to get her mind to shut off. Giving up, she flung the covers back and walked silently to her door. Opening it, she surveyed her apartment. She could hear various snores and snuffles coming from her living room, where her friends and family were sleeping. Smiling, she tiptoed through her kitchen and stood in the doorway to the living room.

Flack had won the toss for the couch that night, and was lying on his back snoring, arm flung over his head, blanket at his waist, exposing his scar. Stella's eyes were drawn to it, and she couldn't suppress a small shudder. Behind the couch, Danny and Lindsay were on the double air mattress. Lindsay was on her side facing Stella, and she could see Danny's arm around Lindsay's waist. _They are so cute together, _she thought with a smile. _Thank god they finally got it together!_ Hawkes was sleeping quietly, calmly, on the single air mattress, in front of her coffee table. She smiled, faintly amused that even in sleep he radiated serenity. At the end of his mattress, she could see Adam's legs from the knee down on a second single air mattress that Don had found at his apartment. The coffee table obscured him from knee to waist, but she could see the rest of him in the space between it and the couch. He slept quietly, a faint frown marring his features. As far as she knew, he hadn't had any more nightmares, and she was glad to see that being around everyone appeared to be as healing for him as it was for her. She smiled at them and went back into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

She absently filled her kettle and put it on the stove. Thinking about her friends and how much it meant to her that they were all there with her, she failed to notice the movement behind her.

"Stella?"

The whisper and the soft touch on the shoulder that came with it startled her and she spun around.

"Oh, Sheldon, you scared me," she whispered breathlessly. He was squinting at her in the soft light coming from the stove light, sleep still evident in his eyes. He was barefoot and shirtless, and the muscles in his abdomen rippled as he stretched before leaning against the doorway.

"Sorry. Are you ok?" His voice was still husky with sleep. _Down girl,_ she told herself at the shiver that went down her spine.

"I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep. I didn't mean to wake you," she whispered back.

He smiled faintly. "It's ok. I've been sleeping really lightly."

Just then, the kettle began to hiss, and Stella quickly stepped over and turned it off before it could wake anyone else. Gesturing to it, she asked, "Do you want some tea?"

Sheldon smiled. "Sure, thanks."

She got out a second mug, filled it with the steaming water, and added the tea bag. Handing it to him, she nodded towards her room. "Want some company?"

He smiled and followed her to her room.


	14. Returning

A/N: Hey, guys, here's chapter 14. It's short, but important. Apparently the last chapter was not all that popular -- sorry! Anyway, as usual, review if you want, I love reading them, and constructive criticism is always welcomed. Also, please let me know how you want this to end - no pairing, smacked pairing, or stella/hawkes pairing. And if anyway wants to explain what one is, I may be looking for a beta... Oh, and I still don't own anything you recognize. Thanks and enjoy!

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**Chapter 14: Returning**

"Sorry, Mac, gotta run-"

"Wait! Don't hang –" The click of the line being disconnected resonated in his ear. "-up. Shit!" he exclaimed, snapping his phone shut. Why wouldn't they talk to him? What in the world was going on over there? In the 4 days since he had left, he hadn't been able to get any member of his team on the phone for more then 3 minutes at a time. And that was only the phone call at the beginning when Flack had told him that he was cleaning up Mac's mess. Mac still had no idea what that was supposed to mean, and he had no idea why they wouldn't let him talk to Stella. Every time he called her phone, one of the guys answered, usually Flack, almost as if they were in possession of it. He was getting heartily sick of hearing Flack's voice.

His hands fisted. He _knew_ that something was going on back in New York, and he couldn't shake the feeling that it was something he needed to get back to. He couldn't deny that London was a gorgeous city. He'd loved seeing the tourist spots, and all the local restaurants that Peyton had known about were great. But… if he was honest with himself, his heart wasn't really in it. As much as he was enjoying London, he needed to get back home.

He was beginning to feel like he never should have left in the first place, though. If he had been running on anything other then pure adrenaline, he probably would have realized that now was not the best time to be taking a vacation. If he was honest with himself, he had to admit that he missed his city -- the congestion and noise, rough accents and tourists. And, he admitted, he missed his team. Hawkes' quiet brilliance, Danny's rough accent, Flack's bad ties, Lindsay and Danny's flirting, and Stella's quick temper and even quicker smile. Yes, he thought, sighing as he stared out the window, he needed to get back.

The sound of their hotel room's door opening made him turn around.

"Hey, sorry that took me so long," She said in her soft accent. "The café was busier then I'd expected."

He smiled briefly. "It's ok. Peyton…" he hesitated. "I have to get back to New York."

"What?! Mac, are you serious?"

"Yeah. Something's going on over there and I need to be there to take care of it."

"Mac, your team is very capable. Whatever's going on I'm sure they can handle it," she said, coming over to him.

"I know they are. But whatever's going on… they're shutting me out. Apparently, I'm not allowed to know. And I can't get Stella on the phone. They're hiding something, something to do with her. I need to be there, Peyton. I'm sorry."

She sighed. "Mac, if you leave…"

He nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. But I have to go."

Turning from her, he walked over to his suitcase and began to pack.

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13 hours later, Mac was finally sitting in a seat aboard a direct flight to New York, waiting for it to move to the runway. Getting a flight at the last minute had turned out to be impossible, but he'd waited anyway, after arriving at the airport. He'd had to take a cab; after he'd started packing, Peyton had realized that he really was leaving and had started ranting. He'd had to hear about how she always came in last, and about how Stella had always been first and how he was a terrible workaholic. Eventually, he'd just left. Talking to her had produced no results, and he had desperately needed to get home. The headache that had been brewing since Lindsay had hung up on him earlier had blossomed into a full-blown migraine, thanks to Peyton's yelling, and all he wanted to do was sleep the rest of the way back to his city.

His team had no idea he was on the way; he hadn't wanted to give them the notice. Whatever they were hiding from him, he didn't want to give them the chance to bury it or to hide it – _her_—where he couldn't find her. And damn it, he was going to see Stella. They weren't going to be able to put him off _anymore_.


	15. Almost

A/N: Hi, guys. Here's chapter 15, in which Flack is a bottomless pit. Hope you enjoy, and as always not only do they not belong to me, but if you feel so inclined, reviews are GREATLY appreciated... also, please let me know how you want this to end or I'll write it based on what input I've gotten so far and what I feel like writting... And without further ado, chapter 15...

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**Chapter 15: Almost**

Leaning back from the table, Hawkes surveyed his friends. He, Danny, Flack and Adam had started a game of Monopoly the day before yesterday, and it was becoming epic. Stella and Lindsay had made fun of them when the game had spilled over into today, calling them losers. Hawkes had to admit, he didn't know if it was because none of them had wanted to lose or if it was just too much fun. The girls were doing various different things. They'd started a puzzle when the guys had started the game, but had finished putting that together early yesterday. Now they were occasionally watching the guys, watching TV, watching movies, talking, reading or just sitting and thinking. At the moment, they were sitting on the couch, Stella staring off into space in one of her fade-out moments again, and Lindsay was reading.

In the 5 days since they'd taken up residence at Stella's, she'd begun to get better. She was able to tell them about the fog she felt, but apparently she could function just fine. She'd been called into work, just as they all had, to give their statements, and apart from being a little quiet, the IAB people hadn't been able to tell a thing was wrong. The effort that appearing totally normal had taken, however, was evident once they got home: she had faded out on them for nearly 4 hours. Now, she was lucid more often then she was disconnected, but apparently the fog she was in hadn't lifted completely yet, and she still had periods where she seemed to disconnect.

The crying, which had been nearly nonstop at first, was becoming rare. She hadn't cried at all that day, which made Sheldon think she really was turning a corner. During her lucid times, though, the whole apartment almost took on a slumber party feel. They laughed and talked, ate, watched movies, played games. It really had the feel of the family, but Sheldon couldn't help noticing that Stella always seemed a little sad during those, as if she was hyper-aware of Mac's not being there.

"Alright, guys, what're we doing for dinner tonight?" Flack asked, rubbing his hands together. Lindsay looked at him in disbelief.

"Flack. You just ate 2 hours ago. You can't possibly be hungry again!"

He grinned at her impishly and rubbed his belly. "I'm a growing boy, Lindsay, I need to keep my strength up!" He laughed as she grumbled something uncomplimentary under her breath about bottomless pits as he stood up to stretch.

"Well, whose turn is it to cook?"

The chorus of hemming and hawing and denials that she was met with made her laugh as she shook her head. "Alright, alright, who's up for take-out?"

The equally vehement chorus of approval made her laugh again. After a fast debate, they settled on Thai takeout, and that Lindsay and Adam would be the ones to go pick it up. They called in the order to a restaurant that was about 3 blocks away from Stella's apartment, and Adam and Lindsay left to go get the food.

"Sheldon?"

Hawkes turned to see Stella standing behind him and smiled. They'd fallen asleep together on her bed several nights ago, after having talked quietly for a while. Nothing had happened, but he'd woken up from the deepest sleep he'd had in a long time. She'd been curled next to him, snuggled into his side, sleeping soundly. He'd been afraid that she'd be upset, since he was pretty sure she had feelings for Mac and he'd been hiding his growing feelings for her for nearly a year, but when she'd woken, she'd simply smiled, kissed him on the cheek, and said, "Thanks. I haven't slept that well in months." He'd smiled back and told her that he'd be happy to oblige any time she needed a friend. Since then, she'd been seeking out his company, sometimes to talk, sometimes just to sit quietly.

"Hey, Stel. What's up?" he asked softly. He needn't have bothered; Danny and Flack had turned on the TV in the other room and were now arguing over who the best hockey team was. Neither of them was paying any attention to what was going on in the kitchen.

"I was wondering…" she hesitated, then rushed on, "if you'd heard from Mac today?"

She'd known that he was calling, but Hawkes wasn't sure she knew how often. She hadn't asked for her cell phone back, though, and that was telling. When Mac did call Stella's phone, Flack usually answered it, and was getting more and more abrupt in his endings of the conversations.

"Not today, Stel. I think Lindsay had the pleasure of hanging up on him last. She did say that he was getting rather impatient, though." She nodded and bit her lip.

"I'm almost there, Sheldon. I think I'm almost at the point where I could talk to him, on the phone at least. I don't think I could see him yet, though… He knows me too well."

Sheldon put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed them up and down her arms. "It's ok, Stella. Take your time. We're here for as long as you need us. Don't force yourself into anything."

She nodded again and smiled faintly. Stepping closer to him, she slid her arms around his waist and hugged him tight for a second. Feeling him return the gesture, her smile broadened and she whispered, "Thanks."

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30 minutes later, Lindsay and Adam were walking back from the Thai place when Lindsay suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. They were near Stella's apartment, and Adam continued toward the steps before noticing that Lindsay wasn't with him. Backtracking, he stood next to her.

"Linds?" he asked, gesturing to the bags he was carefully carrying. "Could we keep moving? These are kinda heavy…"

"Adam, look," she hissed, pointing at a man going up the steps to Stella's apartment building. "Does that look like Mac to you?"

Looking at the man, Adam did have to admit that it did look like Mac. "It does, yeah, but… it can't be, right? He's in London… right?"

Lindsay shook her head, looking grim. "I don't know, Adam, but we need to get upstairs right now."

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A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger... this time (this isn't supposed to be an ultimatum, I promise!!) i'll prolly post the next one in a few days unless people really don't want to wait for it...


	16. Ambush

A/N: Hi again :) So so sorry for the cliffie at the end of the last chapter! Here's the arrival you've all been waiting for, and if you think the boyos have been hard on Mac til now, I think you'll see that they were just warming up... Anyway, I'd LOVE to know what you think of this chapter, as it's one of my favorites, so if the mood strikes you, I hope you'll review. And as always, I still don't own them. Sadness.

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**Chapter 16: Ambushed**

When the doorbell rang, Flack sprang up from the couch to answer it. Assuming it was Lindsay and Adam with the food, he pulled it open grinning, and said, "What, couldn't manage the door and --"

Actually looking at the person standing there, Flack stopped abruptly, and the smile on his face died.

"What are you doing here?" he asked quietly, voice hard.

Alerted by the change in Don's voice, Danny and Hawkes, still sitting on the couch, looked at each other, got up, and walked quickly over to Flack. Seeing who was at the door made both of them tense up. Hawkes glanced towards the back of the apartment, where Stella was changing after a shower. As Danny stepped forward, starting to speak, Hawkes cut him off, knowing they didn't have much time.

"Danny, wait. You can yell later," he said, glancing significantly towards Stella's room. Danny followed his gaze, and nodded. Directing his attention to Mac, he said decisively, "You can't be here right now."

Mac looked at the three men in front of him, effectively blocking his way into Stella's apartment. Looking again at Danny, his eyes narrowed as he took in Danny's bruised face and bandaged hand. Opening his mouth to ask what was going on, he was interrupted by a loud clattering behind him.

Turning around, he came face to face with an out of breath Adam and Lindsay. Lindsay took one look at him, and exclaimed, "Shit!"

Flack looked at her questioningly, a small grin floating around the edges of his mouth.

"We saw him coming in. We were trying to get up here in enough time to warn you guys," Lindsay explained breathlessly, moving past Mac into the apartment. Mac noticed that they immediately made room for her and Adam to slip in before closing ranks against him again. "Where is she? Does she know yet?" Lindsay asked, clearly referring to Stella.

Hawkes shook his head, glancing again towards the back of the apartment. "Not yet, but we don't have much time…" His voice trailed off in worry.

Lindsay sighed and nodded, setting her bags down off to the side of the door. Adam followed suit, then went to stand next to Danny. Mac had been watching the exchange with a bemused expression that turned into a frown as he got a look at Adam's own bruised face and lightly bandaged hands. Tired of waiting and being ignored, he spoke up.

"What the hell is going on here?" He demanded loudly, angrily.

All five members of his team turned to him and as one, hissed, "Shut up!" Lindsay continued, "We don't want her…"

"Hey, guys, I thought I heard the doorbell. Is dinner here?" Stella walked into the room, drying her hair with a towel. Seeing who was in her doorway, she stopped dead in her tracks. She dropped the towel and swayed on her feet as all the color drained out of her cheeks. Running to her, Lindsay wrapped her arms around Stella. When Stella's knees buckled, Lindsay caught her and lowered both of them to the floor and began to rock her as Stella's tears began again.

"I wasn't ready yet. I didn't want to see him yet. I wasn't ready yet," she whispered heartbrokenly, over and over.

Lindsay looked up at Mac, tears in her own eyes. "You bastard. Get out." She said it flatly, no inflection in her tone.

The men, still forming a barrier between Mac and the women, all nodded. "You _really_ can't be here right now, Mac," Hawkes said coldly.

Mac looked stunned. He'd never send Stella like this, not this bad anyway. And what had happened to Danny and Adam?

"Guys. What the hell is going on here? Why didn't anyone tell me?" His voice had lost much of its strength, but now fear and worry were evident in his tone along with some lingering vestiges of the anger.

Hawkes glanced back at the women, and gestured into the hallway. The men stepped out, and Hawkes pulled the door shut behind them.

"Even if we'd wanted to tell you, Mac, –" Flack's tone made it clear that they _hadn't_ wanted to "– Stella asked us not to."

"Why the hell not?! She's my closest friend! And as her boss, I should have been informed!"

"You lost that right when you walked off with Peyton and left her to clean up the mess _your bomb_ made." Danny's tone was frigid, and the arms crossed over his chest emphasized his anger. "You didn't even stop to take the time to ask about me and Adam!"

Mac was speechless. He hadn't had any idea there'd been any problems at the warehouse, and he'd had no idea that his leaving had created this large of a problem. All he'd been able to think about was not letting Peyton down. Before he could figure out what to say, the door of Stella's apartment opened, interrupting them. Lindsay stepped out, pulling it shut behind her.

"What's going on? How is she?" Hawkes asked immediately. Lindsay shook her head and rubbed her eyes. There were faint tear tracks going down her cheeks.

"She's… I think she's disassociated again. But before she did, she asked for you," she answered Hawkes. Mac felt like he'd been slapped. Stella had known he was there but had asked for _Hawkes?_ He watched the man slip into the door of Stella's apartment, and shut it firmly behind him. "When did they get so close?" he wondered out loud.

Flack sneered. "Who do you think took care of her when this all started? Who do you think noticed that something was wrong with her while you were too busy jetting off on vacation? We did, Mac. That first night, it was just Sheldon and I; then Lindsay, Danny and Adam too, when they were released from the hospital. Oh, but wait! You don't know about that! And why don't you know about that? Hmm, could it be because not only didn't you stop to ask, but you bolted outta here so fast I couldn't get a word in edgewise?" The ire in Flack's voice was clear, and the others were nodding with him.

"How could you, Mac?" Lindsay asked softly as she moved to stand between Danny and Adam, the quiet condemnation in her voice just as effective as the open anger in Flack's. "How could you be that selfish? To go on your own vacation and leave us with the lab clean up? Leave _Stella_ with the lab clean up? She's had a rougher year then any three of us combined, Mac. Think about it. Frankie. Aiden. The bombing. The HIV thing. And do you honestly think that was all she thought about? I know she lost sleep when that cigarette butt with Danny's DNA was found in that grave. I know she was worried about me, when I had to go to Montana for my trial. And that's not even mentioning the fear and concern she felt for you after the Dobson thing. How _could _you?" She asked again, quiet tirade coming to an end.

Stunned, Mac just stared at her. Her anger was more disturbing then Flack's, when expressed in the quiet, passionate way she had delivered it. His mind was focused on one thing, though.

"What did you mean when you said she'd disassociated again?" He asked Lindsay quietly.

Taken aback, she glanced at the others. Since they hadn't been prepared for his arrival, they hadn't discussed what to tell him. Adam, silent so far, shrugged. Flack and Danny glanced at each other, then at her, and shook their heads. None of them had any idea how much to tell him. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Mac and studied him. The very sincere concern and regret in his eyes softened her a small amount.

"Mac… when you left… well, Flack and Hawkes noticed that Stella was… fragile. They could tell something wasn't right. So, they watched her. Long story short… her control broke. We don't think she could handle all the stress. Her mind… well, it had to shelter itself somehow, give itself a break. She… disassociated from us for a while. If you could get her to speak, she knew where and who she was, but she spent a long time just sitting and staring at nothing."

Realization dawned. "That patrol cop. When he called me…"

Flack nodded. "Yeah. She'd walked out of the hospital and walked nearly 2 miles. Cop found her crying, gave her your name and mine. Called me when he didn't get an answer from you." Flack hesitated. "We… Hawkes and I… found her just… walking and crying. She took a few seconds to recognize us. She let us take her home."

"That first night, I understand, she cried a lot," Lindsay continued. "Don and Sheldon took care of her, made her eat, got her to sleep, and held her when she cried. I was at the hospital with Danny and Adam. When they were released…" She glanced at Adam, not wanting to say too much.

Adam cleared his throat and spoke for the first time. "When we were released, Danny couldn't be left alone, and I… well, I didn't _want_ to be left alone. And since Lindsay wanted to be over here with Stella…"

"We all just kinda moved in," Danny finished. "Kinda sucked, since none of us can really cook worth a damn." He grinned at Lindsay, Adam and Flack before sobering his face back up and looking at Mac.

Mac was again speechless. When he found his voice, he choked out, "And she… just… let you?"

They all nodded soberly. "Gives you a good indication of how she's feeling, doesn't it Mac? That first night, she even asked Hawkes and me not to leave her alone. We hadn't planned on leaving, but the fact that she asked…" Flack trailed off, glaring pointedly at Mac.

"Why… why doesn't she want to see me?" he asked quietly.

Lindsay sighed. "I'm not sure I'm the person to answer that, Mac, but… Well, she didn't want you to know. She didn't want you to be disappointed in her for being weak."

"She was so close to getting better, man. She hadn't completely disassociated from us in three days, not since she went in to give her statement. She told Hawkes yesterday that the 'fog' she feels like she's been in has been gone more then not, and that she was almost ready to talk to you on the phone. She knew that us putting off your phone calls would only work for so long, and was nearly ready to actually talk to you. And then you showed up…" Danny sighed and glanced back to the apartment.

"Do you know what it was like, Mac, to see that woman _that_ broken?" Adam asked unexpectedly. "She… she cares about all of us, mothers all of us. She's like this whirlwind of energy and sunshine, and she comes through my lab and brightens everything up for a while. To see her like that… It was heartbreaking, man."

Everyone nodded, and Mac was startled to see tears in both Danny and Adam's eyes. His mouth opened and closed, but he was saved from having to try to formulate an answer by the door of the apartment opening again. Hawkes stepped out and closed it behind them, keeping his back to them as he took a deep breath.

"How is she?" Danny asked.

Hawkes shrugged. "She… she's asked to see Mac," he said, startling all of them.


	17. Rules

A/N: Hey, guys. Here's chapter 17, which is kinda wonky. The second part of the chapter is told sorta in Flashback. I know you're eager to get to the conversation btwn Mac and Stella, and I _promise_ that it's next. This one just had to be written, since it kinda has her thoughts and the like. I'm not planning on posting the next one (the conversation btwn Mac and Stella) until prolly Thursday or Friday but if there's enough demand for it, I could be persuaded to post it sooner. Also, the story's almost finished; I think probably only 3 more chapters after this one. As usual, review if you want, and the characters don't belong to me.

Oh, one more thing. I'm brainstorming another story at the moment, and looking for someone who'd maybe want to beta that one for me. If you're interested, let me know and I'll send you the groundwork for what I'm thinking so you can decide if you're interested. Thanks!

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**Chapter 17: Rules **

Mac immediately started for the door, but stopped when Flack grabbed his arm.

"You're not going in there without some basic ground rules, Mac," Flack growled.

"What?" Mac asked incredulously. "Listen, I've known Stella for a lot longer then you guys have. I don't need ground rules to talk to her."

"We've been here for the last 5 days, Mac. You haven't," Lindsay said, slipping her hand into Danny's. The others nodded, and Flack moved to stand next to Sheldon, who had turned around, but hadn't moved from in front of Stella's door.

"There's no way either of us are letting you in there without laying some ground rules, Mac. We've all worked too hard on making sure she's ok to risk letting you fuck it up again," Hawkes said firmly.

Mac sighed, taken aback by Hawkes' language, then acquiesced. He wanted to talk to Stella, and it was clear that the only way he was going to get to her was by listening to Flack and Hawkes.

"Alright, guys. What're the rules?" he said, sarcasm present in his tone.

Flack's eyes narrowed, but he let Sheldon speak. "First, _don't push her._ You won't get anything out of her, and she'll just retreat again. Second, if she asks you to leave, _leave._ Third, if you yell at her, we will come and remove you --" "And kick your ass," Flack muttered. He yelped when Lindsay smacked him, but subsided.

"Also, you have to get her to eat. She hasn't eaten since lunch, so I'm sure she's hungry," Lindsay said. "And…" she hesitated. "If she fades out again, you have to promise to come and get us," she said softly.

Mac nodded soberly, slowly beginning to get an idea of what taking care of Stella must have been like in the beginning to have caused such concern in his team. "Alright, guys. I promise."

"Good. Stay here while I get Stella's meal out, and grab plates and silverware from the kitchen, cuz we wanna eat too. Then you can go in," Flack said.

Mac nodded again as Don slipped quietly inside the apartment. Turning to Danny, he opened his mouth to ask what had happened at the warehouse when he spotted his and Lindsay's linked hands. _Obviously I missed something here,_ he thought to himself, but kept his face blank. "What happened at the warehouse, Danny?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Mac saw Adam flinch. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Don came back out of Stella's apartment, hands full, and nodded towards the door. "You can go in now, Mac. Just remember the rules."

Mac looked at Danny. "We can talk about what happened later. We'll have to, since I'll likely be out of work for a while. But you need to go see Stella now," Danny said, looking both relieved and anxious. "We'll be right here if she needs us."

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Inside her apartment, Stella took a deep breath and forced herself to exhale slowly. While the urge to cry had passed, she still felt panicked. She wanted to run screaming away and not have the conversation she was about to force herself to have. She didn't move, though. Couldn't, with _him_ and her team – her family, she corrected herself -- outside her door. She could hear their voices coming from the hallway occasionally: just a low murmur, comforting even if she couldn't make out what they were saying. Just knowing they were there, and likely giving Mac hell, made the corners of her lips turn up in a tiny smile as she continued to focus on keeping her breathing under control.

At her first glimpse of him, standing so confidently in her doorway, face betraying his bafflement at the behavior of his team, all the breath had _whooshed_ out of her, as if someone had kicked her _hard_ in the stomach. For a brief moment, the fog had parted, allowing her to see, and feel, his presence with stunning clarity. Then it had rolled back in to surround her as the tears had begun to fall, cushioning her from her reality, one she was sure she was not ready to face. She had been vaguely aware of Lindsay, and had been grateful. When the tears had stopped, and the sobs had ebbed, she'd looked around, realizing for the first time that they were alone. Realizing as well that the fog was slowly dissipating again, for what felt like the last time, she had asked Lindsay for Hawkes.

When Sheldon had come in, she had been sitting on the floor, staring blankly into space. When he'd called her name, hands gripping her shoulders, kneeling in front of her, she'd focused on his face, and the panic on it had been frightening.

He'd explained that he'd thought she'd faded out again, since that's what Lindsay had thought when she'd come out into the hall, and when Stella told him that she thought the fog was lifting completely, the grin that had split his face had been blinding.

She'd needed his strength, and his peace, she thought now. She'd needed the serenity that surrounded him while she calmed herself down and attempted to gather her thoughts. They'd talked some, about how she was feeling, and what was going on in the hall. Mostly, they just sat, his arms around her, her head on his shoulder, as she focused on pulling some of his stillness into herself. After a while, she'd shifted to face him.

"He's not going to leave, is he?" She'd asked him quietly, soberly.

He'd hesitated, eyes steady on hers as he recalled the resolve on Mac's set face. Shaking his head, he'd replied, "I don't think so, Stel. Even if you don't want to talk to him, even if we don't let him in, I'm pretty sure he'll sit out there for as long as it takes. He looked pretty determined."

She hadn't answered, and they'd sat in silence for a short while longer before she'd turned to him again.

"I have to talk to him, don't I?" Her tone made it clear that it wasn't a question so much as a statement of fact. He didn't answer, but she nodded, then said, "Alright. I have to talk to him. Think you can get the others to let him in?"

He'd made sure she was definitely ready to talk to him before giving her one more hug and heading back out into the hall.

Now, she'd moved from her floor to go stand by her window, starring out, her stomach twisted in knots. She knew she needed to talk to him. She just didn't know what she was going to say.

She was vaguely aware of Flack coming in and moving around in her kitchen for a bit before coming to her and putting her plate of Pad Thai in her hands. She smiled at his admonishment to actually eat it as she set the plate down on a side table and turned to give him a hard hug, both in thanks and for comfort. Letting him go, she gave him a small smile, then turned back to the window.

Hearing her door open and shut once more, she wrapped the remaining tendrils of the fog around herself, preparing for the conversation. Taking a deep breath, she turned and smiled faintly at the man standing by the door.

"Hello, Mac. How was London?"


	18. Discussions

A/N: Hi, everyone :) Here's the chapter you've all been waiting for... Chapter 18, in which Mac and Stella finally talk. I hope you enjoy it -- I had a blast writing it. Also, I wanted to thank you all for reading and reviewing -- this has been amazing. The story's almost done (one, maybe two more chapters at the most) and I'm really grateful that you all read it and have seemed to enjoy it. Thanks again! Also, as usual, if you review, please be nice, and the characters still don't belong to me...

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**Chapter 18: Discussions**

Mac said nothing, his eyes searching Stella's face for signs of how she was feeling. Her face was calm and still; eyes distant but clear. There were tearstains faintly evident along cheeks that were subtly more hollow then they had been 5 days ago. Her arms were wrapped protectively around her body, a sign that she was anticipating a confrontation and had already started to protect herself.

"Stella." He hesitated, not sure how to begin, how to ask what was going on.

"I have to admit, Mac, I'm surprised to see you here." She tilted his head, reading the confusion, hesitation, and determination on his face as if they were words in a book. "How did you know something was wrong in the first place?"

"A voicemail from a patrol officer. He wasn't clear who it was that he'd talked to, but I was able to reach Lindsay right away. And while she wasn't immediately forthcoming with information, it was clear that something was wrong with you." Mac hesitated, unsure still how to ask what had been happening. Stella waited, head still tilted. "Stella… what… what happened? What's going on?"

Face still set in the small smile, she asked, "How much do you know? I'm sure they told you something," she asked, nodding her head at the door of her apartment.

He shrugged, self-consciously. "They… gave me the basics of what's been going on with you." _Amid giving me hell for leaving you to deal on your own… and rightfully so,_ he thought to himself.

Stella sighed. "They probably know more then I do at this point." She turned away to stare out the window. "I'm not entirely sure what happened. Things get fuzzy during my memories at the hospital. I left, and walked for ages, ended in the Bronx somehow, where a patrol cop found me." She looked at him over her shoulder, realization dawning on her face. "That's how you found out. I must have given that guy your name."

Mac nodded. "That's what he said."

Stella nodded back before turning to look back out of the window. "That must have been how Flack and Sheldon found me too. I never thought to ask," she added quietly, almost as if she hadn't meant to say it out loud. "They brought me back here, made me eat. Helped me sleep." She didn't elaborate on that, but judging by the two men's protectiveness of her and her unwillingness to talk about it, Mac was willing to guess that she had broken down, and more then once. One thing about Stella that always stayed the same: she hated appearing weak.

"I really think I might have been ok," She continued, "but your phone call the next morning, far before I thought I'd have to deal with you, shocked me. I couldn't deal with it. You'd left me in charge, and I wasn't sure I could handle it, but you were the _last_ person I wanted to know that. I asked Don and Sheldon not to tell you."

"They never did. Stella, why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you want me to know?" His voice was a mix of anger and confusion. "I don't understand. I never would have left if I'd known…"

Her mouth quirked. "I didn't want you to know. Period. You deserved the vacation. You hadn't taken one in _years_ before this trip to London. And you looked so happy when you were leaving with Peyton. Besides, at the time you left the building – excuse the pun – I didn't know it would be anything more then just dealing with the lab. I didn't know about Danny and Adam."

He grimaced, remembering Flack's angry words to him about that. "Yeah. I didn't either. My first inkling that something was wrong there was when Lindsay told me not to call them because they needed their rest 'on doctor's orders'."

Stella looked over at him, smile gone. "Yeah. Nice going on that one, by the way," she said, sarcastically, startling them both. Apparently now that the fog was gone, the anger had started to seep in to fill its place, she realized after taking a quick stock of her emotions.

He grimaced again. "I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left without at least asking about them."

She shook her head. "It's not me you need to be apologizing to, Mac. It's them."

Raising his eyebrows, he nodded. "I guess it is." He hesitated as she turned back to the window. "Stella, what happened to you?"

She sighed. "After your call… I guess… The easiest way to describe it is that I faded out."

He nodded. "That's what the team said. What does that mean, exactly?"

She shrugged, still not looking at him. "Apparently, I was completely unresponsive, especially at first. For me, it just felt like I was in a really dense fog, but instead of that being scary, it was comforting. It felt… almost like floating, like nothing could reach me. After the several hours, I was more normal, and when needed, I could play it like nothing was wrong at all. My debriefing? No one had a clue that anything was wrong. Apparently when I got home I was nearly catatonic, probably from the effort, but the team was there. As I got over the worst of it, I had moments where I'd sorta be… distant, apparently. For me, those felt like when the fog was thinning. I would respond to questions, and even volunteer comments occasionally. The kiddies out there –" she gestured to the hallway, the first genuine smile Mac had seen splitting her face – "were careful to keep me included while giving me my space." She grimaced and looked around her apartment.

Mac followed the path of her gaze and noticed the evidence of other people living there. "Yeah, they told me they'd sorta moved in. I… was surprised."

She looked at him, face sober again. "I asked them to stay, that first night. Just Flack and Hawkes, since everyone else was at the hospital, but I wasn't even foggy yet. Then, after the first really bad one…" she trailed off, looking pointedly at him. He refused to flinch, even though he knew the point she was making. "Flack had told Lindsay what was going on, and Lindsay decided she wanted to be here. The boys… they just came with her."

"So…how are you feeling now?" he asked diplomatically.

"Are you asking as my boss?" she shot back immediately, anger faintly coloring her tone.

He was taken aback. "No, Stel, I wasn't. I was asking as your friend."

She stared at him for a long moment before snorting and turning back to the window. "Oh, that's great. Now that it's convenient for you, you want to be my friend."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, I don't know, Mac. It just seems that now that you've gotten tired of being shut out of the loop – the team was greatly enjoying hanging up on you, you know – you've decided to come home, probably with the idea that you'd make everything right just by being there. You were _clearly_ shocked that I broke down when you got here, and I'm sure you were almost offended when I asked for Hawkes and not you. Am I right?"

He said nothing, unwilling to admit that she was. She plunged on.

"Here's the thing, though, Mac – even you should have been able to see that this was _not_ the right time to take a vacation of ANY kind, let alone leave the country! You shoved us all aside as soon as Peyton came running up to you, and then just… dashed out. And then you didn't even have the balls to tell me yourself that you were leaving me in charge of clean up! Just… called the chief, and had _him_ call me! Thanks for the courtesy on that one, by the way."

She had whirled to face him during her speech, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling with anger.

"Not to sound selfish, which this will, but damn, Mac. What have you had to deal with this year that's been so hard that you needed to run out and take a vacation _right then? _But hey, just for kicks, lets look at the rest of our team, shall we? Lets start with Hawkes. The name _Shane Casey_ ring any bells? And then there's Lindsay. Hmm, something about a trial, maybe? Danny's had a pretty tame year, for him, but there's still the uncertainty about his brother. Don… hmm. There was that whole… Truby mess… You'd be familiar with that, right? Adam's had a fairly tame year too, but let's see, who am I missing?" Pausing her tirade for a beat, Stella tilted her head and pretended to be having trouble remembering. "Oh yeah… Me. Hmm, Mac, can you think of any reasons that I might be having a bad year? Or a tough time of things?"

"Enough." Mac's voice was rough with guilt and anger.

She stopped, breathing heavily, and stared at him, anger obvious in her eyes, her face, and her body.

He just stared back, too startled to actually do anything else at the moment. He'd had no idea that she'd been this angry. He was man enough to admit (even if it was just to himself at the moment) that his behavior had been abysmal. She was right; every single point she'd made had struck home for him.

"Cat got your tongue, Mac?" she asked sarcastically.

"Stella… I don't… I'm not sure what to say. An apology is definitely in order, at the very least. I… started to realize I shouldn't have left that first morning I woke up in London. I'd slept for something like 14 hours; between the day we'd had and the exhaustion of traveling, I was a zombie. I woke up that morning, wondering where I was, and I realized that I shouldn't have left. It got even clearer after I got the voicemail, but I figured I'd be able to talk to you from there, make sure you were ok, then enjoy the rest of my trip." He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.

"Why'd you leave at all then?" she asked skeptically.

"I'm not sure. Adrenaline? I'm pretty sure I wasn't thinking clearly." He shook his head, thinking back. "Yeah. It was relief and adrenaline, with probably some testosterone in there too. Peyton… It was so clear that she wanted me to come. And when she came running across the lobby to me… I just… stopped thinking."

They'd hit on another source of Stella's ire. "Ah, yes, Peyton. Where is the lovely doctor?" she asked.

Mac shrugged. "Still in London. She… wasn't all together too happy when I left." He hesitated, then shrugged again. "I don't think we're together anymore."

Despite her anger with him, her face softened. "I'm sorry, Mac."

He looked at her, surprised. "It's ok. If I'm honest with myself, I didn't really think it was going anywhere. That's something else I kinda figured out while I was in London."

She nodded, then turned away to pace back to the window.

"Stella… I owe you an apology." He waited until she turned back toward him to continue. "I shouldn't have left that way. I shouldn't have left at all. I'm sorry."

She nodded. "Apology accepted."

He breathed a sigh of relief and grinned, starting to walk towards her, arms opening to hug her close. But as he got near, she stepped back, face closing up, and held up her hands.

"Stop. Don't touch me."

He stopped dead in his tracks. "What…?"

"I said I accepted your apology, Mac. I didn't say I forgave you. Forgiveness takes time, and I need some."

He stared at her in shock, feeling like she'd just kicked him in the stomach.

"I think I'd like you to leave now. And would you tell Hawkes I'd like to talk to him on your way out?" As she walked past him towards her bedroom, he reached out to try to grab her arm. "Stella…"

She pulled her arm out of his reach just as the door of her apartment opened and Flack stormed into the apartment, followed more sedately by the others.

"I believe she asked you to leave, Mac," Flack said menacingly. Hawkes slipped around them to put an arm around Stella's shoulders. Mac watched them, not missing the way she not only accepted his comfort but also leaned into it. Flack growled, and Mac returned his attention to the homicide detective.

"Alright, I'll leave. But I'll be back."

Stella stopped just outside her bedroom door and turned back to Mac. "Oh, that's fine. Feel free to drop by anytime. I have a feeling we'll all be in residence here for a bit longer." With her meaning clear, she triumphantly turned back to Hawkes, and they went into her bedroom as Flack stalked Mac to the door.


	19. Amends

A/N: Hey, guys! SO sorry about the long wait for this one. I know the story's almost over, and I was originally thinking that I could end it with only one more chapter. That got tossed out the window when this chapter reached 10 pages long and I wasn't really finished yet :-p SO. There will be one more after this one. But it may be a bit in coming, since I'm dealing with finals and moving out of my college apartment, since I am now DONE! (Thank you, thank you) So, please be patient, and reviews really do feed the muse. The more she gets, the more she wants to give you guys, so please read and review. Also, the characters aren't mine, and I'm nearly done playing with them. Oh, and if you can name the book that the forgiveness line Hawkes refers to is from, I'll give you a really really big cookie... So… here ya go, the beginning of the end, I give you….

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**Chapter 19: Amends**

Stella and Hawkes stood just inside the bedroom door, watching Flack walk Mac out. Stella sighed as the door closed behind him, and she allowed her shoulders to slump, just a little.

Watching Stel shake some of the tension out of her muscles and roll her head back and forth on her neck, Sheldon asked quietly, "Was it bad?"

She looked at him and, surprising him, grinned softly. "Nah, not really. Turns out once the fog lifted, I was really rather angry at him, same as you all were."

Sheldon smiled back, and squeezed her shoulders. She leaned into him, knowing he wanted to know what had transpired between her and Mac, but too polite to ask. "He apologized, Shel. There was real regret in his eyes. And while I accepted it… It can't go back to the way things were, not right away. It takes time, sometimes."

She looked up at him, pain evident in her eyes. "He's my oldest and closest friend, but… when he apologized, while I could accept it, I couldn't forgive him. Not yet. I was still too angry." Her tone was pleading, and Hawkes nodded.

"It's ok, Stella. I read somewhere once that even if you want to forgive someone, it takes time, whether that be days, weeks, months, years, or sometimes even a lifetime."

Stella nodded, relieved. "That's exactly it. I care for him, and I want to forgive him. But this… was just… too much all at once, ya know?"

Sheldon smiled and gave her a full hug. "Yes, I do. And no one is going to blame you for that. But now, I think we need to go reassure the team, and especially Don, since he's been the dragon at your gate for a while now." She laughed as they left her room to go talk to the team.

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After Mac had left, the others had waited for Stella and Hawkes to finish their powwow, some more patiently then others. Adam and Lindsay had sat quietly on the couch, and watched Danny and Flack pace around the apartment, muttering and occasionally swearing. Both were agitated; Flack because he was pissed at Mac, and Danny because he didn't actually want to have the conversation about the warehouse that he and Adam were soon going to have to have with Mac.

When Stella and Hawkes finally did emerge, Stella was smiling. The team couldn't help but smile back, since that was the first time they'd seen her smile, on her own, in almost a week.

"Hey, guys," she said, grinning. "Gotta sec?"

They all laughed, and nodded. "Great. Boys, wanna have a seat?" she asked, gesturing to Danny, Don, and Sheldon before seating herself. "I'm sure you're all wondering what happened between Mac and I; let me just assure you, first, that I'm ok. The fog's gone completely –" she was interrupted here by a loud cheer, and she had to laugh. Waiting until the cheering had subsided, still grinning, she continued. "-- I'm fine, as I was saying. I'm happy to give you the basics of what happened in here, as long I get the basics of what happened out there. Deal?"

The others nodded, and they began to fill each other in on what had happened. Lindsay was apologetic about how much she had told Mac until Stella told her not to worry about it; it was all stuff he'd have found out anyway. They were interested to know that he had apologized, and they were all unsurprised that she hadn't been able to forgive him immediately.

Later, as the conversation began to be punctuated more by yawns then by laughs, Flack asked the question that was on everyone's minds.

"I think we're all planning on staying here at least a few more days, right guys?" He paused and looked around at the others for confirmation, seeing nods all around. "Alright then. How do you want us to deal with Mac when he comes back tomorrow, Stel? Because you know he will."

Stella nodded, considering. "How you treat Mac is up to you guys. I guess that would be based on how angry at him you were, right?" she smirked as she looked around the room. "I'm not going to tell you how to treat him. All I'm going to ask is that if he asks to talk to you, you give him the chance. Okay?" Looking around again, she received nods. "Alright, I'm gonna hold you to that. For now, though, I'm beat, guys. I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight!"

Amid wishes of sweet dreams, she stopped in the doorway to the kitchen to look back at her friends. "And guys?" She waited until she had their full attention before continuing, "Thank you, _so_ much, for everything. I… I wouldn't have made it through this without you." Turning quickly away again, she went into her room and closed the door.

The team watched her go in silence, before looking at each other.

"She really is ok, then?" Adam asked quietly. Hawkes looked and him and nodded.

"She told me that after the fog lifted, she found herself angry at the way he left. I suspect she's more angry on yours and Danny's behalf, but there's a little bit that's angry for her too."

"And we think Mac really will come back?" Flack growled, and Hawkes nodded again. "Alright. Well, at least we'll be ready this time." The others nodded as the group began to get ready for bed.

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The next morning, Mac surprised them all and arrived early, before anyone was awake. Adam, who was sleeping closest to the door, groggily pulled it open and attempted to focus on who was standing there. Somewhere in his sleep-fogged mind, he was vaguely surprised to find the fuzzy outline of Mac – and the heavenly smell of coffee wafting from the trays in his hands.

"Coffee?" he said, reaching toward the fuzzy person the delicious smells were coming from. Mac took advantage of Adam being half-asleep and gently pushed past him into the apartment, where he stopped dead. It had baffled him that Stella was allowing their team to sleep there; he hadn't bothered to stop and think of the logistics of it. His lips curved as he slowly took in the scene in front of him. Hawkes had won the toss for the couch this time, and as Mac made his way back into the kitchen, walking past Don, who appeared to be snoring _under_ Stella's coffee table, he was startled to see Danny and Lindsay curled up together on the double air mattress behind it. He simply raised his eyebrows, filing the image away for future reference, aware that Adam was following blindly behind him, lured by the scent of the coffee.

Reaching the kitchen, he pushed Adam down in a chair and handed him one of the large black coffees he had gotten from the Starbucks a block away. Setting the other bags down, he reached into Stella's fridge, grabbed the cream, and placed it and a handful of the sugar packages he'd gotten on the table in front of Adam, who ignored them in favor of cupping his coffee between his hands and inhaling it's scent deeply. Mac began to unpack the bags as he waited for Adam's brain to kick in. Fresh bagels, doughnuts, pastries and cream cheese all appeared on the counter along with plates, knives and napkins that Mac pulled out of Stella's cupboard.

Hearing stirring in the living room, Mac grabbed another one of the coffees, popped the lid off, and waited for the next sleepy member of his team to arrive.

It was Hawkes who stumbled in and again Mac's eyebrows raised. _Apparently the good doctor isn't a morning person_, Mac thought, and handed Sheldon the coffee without saying a word. Sheldon just nodded as he made his way to the table, blowing on the coffee, evidently unaware that Mac had been the one who had handed it out.

Placing the breakfast foods in the center of the table, still in silence, Mac readied the next cup of coffee when he heard the loud _thud_ come from the living room, followed by some groggy muttering about poorly placed coffee tables. Flack came stumbling in, rubbing the top of his head, but was actually awake enough to realize who was attempting to hand him coffee. Meeting Mac's bland expression before shifting his gaze to the two men at the table still half-asleep and the food in the middle of it, Flack accepted the coffee as his muttering increased. Mac was encouraged, though: when Don had noticed the food and the coffee, his eyes had changed from hot anger to cool assessment, which was a step in the right direction.

A few more silent minutes later, more noise in the living room alerted him that Danny, Lindsay or both were up, and Mac readied two more cups. Lindsay came bouncing into the room, pulling Danny along with her, who was pleading for just a few more minutes. Seeing Mac, she stopped short, teasing smile cooling into a polite greeting.

"Mac. Good morning."

He nodded to her. "Morning, Linds. Coffee?" He held out the cups and Danny, who had stopped pleading at the sound of his boss's name, accepted silently, while Lindsay politely said, "Thanks."

Mac smiled, and pointed to the table. "Hungry? I brought breakfast." The other men at the table had woken up enough to realize there was food right in front of them and had begun to eat. Don had immediately reached for a cherry Danish, while Hawkes was concentrating on spreading cream cheese on a bagel and Adam was munching on a doughnut. As Lindsay sat down to join them, she indicated a chair, raising her eyebrow at him.

"You gonna sit, Mac? Or just stand and watch the rest of us eat?"

Even though her tone was not exactly friendly, she had still made the offer and he smiled and moved to take the chair she'd indicated, his own coffee in hand. The group sat in a silence that wasn't awkward, but wasn't exactly comfortable either. Occasionally, one of them would make a comment or joke, but they were all wondering what would happen when Stella awoke to find him here.

They didn't end up having to wait long, though: Stella emerged, yawning, about 15 minutes after Danny and Lindsay had come in. She stopped short at the sight of Mac in her kitchen, gaze immediately going to her friends around the table. Reading the concern and confusion in their eyes, she glanced back to Mac, who had stood and was now silently holding a cup of coffee out to her.

"Morning, Mac. I'm surprised to see you here this early," she said coolly, eyebrows raised, as she accepted the cup and moved to sit down in the space Don and Sheldon had created between them.

"Thought I'd bring breakfast and coffee by, save whose ever turn to cook it was the trouble."

Stella made a non-committal noise and reached for a bagel.

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After breakfast, Stella disappeared back into her room, calling dibs on first shower of the day. This immediately sparked the now-daily argument about who was going next as Mac watched with well-concealed amusement. Flack won the toss for second shower, and Mac was more then a little relieved. It would make his plan for the day much easier if at least Flack wasn't around when he set it into motion. He waited until Flack had responded to Stella's shout that the shower was free, then cornered Danny while Lindsay was in the kitchen.

Sitting down on the couch next to him, Mac said quietly, "I thought we could go for a walk so you can finish telling me what happened in the warehouse."

Danny's head snapped up in surprise. He had been lost in thought and hadn't noticed Mac's presence.

"Uhh…I don't… I'm not… I –" He stopped short, and looked toward the kitchen pleadingly. Mac followed his gaze and saw Lindsay standing in the doorway, eyes narrowed at both of them. She shifted her attention fully to Danny and nodded. He sighed, looked down at his bandaged hand, and nodded without looking at Mac. As they were heading out the door in silence, Mac turned to Lindsay, who was still watching them, and smiled his gratitude. She made no reply, only watched the two men walk out the door.

They were back in about an hour, Mac looking a little shell-shocked, Danny looking thoughtful, and not nearly as angry. Danny came in and went directly to Lindsay, who he immediately pulled into a hug. Mac was no longer surprised when she made no protest, only snuggled closer and looped her arms around his waist. He slipped off his shoes and watched Danny nod as Lindsay murmured something before Lindsay led him into the kitchen.

Focusing on the living room, he found Flack and Stella sitting on the couch, Flack drinking coffee and watching him over the paper, Stella curled in the other corner reading a book. Mac only sighed, and asked, "Where's Adam?" He knew that Flack was going to be the hardest, in terms of getting the other man to listen to what Mac had to say, and that Sheldon would be hardest in terms of getting him away from Stella. Mac had a sneaking suspicion that at either Flack or Hawkes would be with or near Stella all the time. He also knew that once he'd talked to Danny, Adam and Lindsay, he'd need to beat a strategic retreat for at least a while, to let the team discuss what they'd talked about with him. He was certain that once the others heard about that, they wouldn't be as hostile to listening to him themselves. At least, that was what he was hoping would happen.

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"He _apologized_?" Stella asked, shocked.

The team was relieved when Mac declined to stay for dinner that night. They all had different reasons for wanting him to leave, but the one thing in every one's mind that night was that they desperately needed to talk. Mac had cornered Danny, Lindsay, and Adam at some point during the day, singling them out and asking them to go for a walk with him. Those were the only people he approached directly; during the times when he was in the house, he had made no moves to get Stella similarly alone. Not that it would have worked, since Flack and Hawkes were pretty much constantly there, but still, Stella was surprised. She had expected Mac to make at least an attempt to get to her, to try to talk to her at least once. She was confused, and she wanted to know what had happened between the younger members of her team. They saw Mac to the door, and sat down to a simple dinner of spaghetti and meatballs.

In unison, Danny, Lindsay and Adam nodded yes.

"He wanted to talk about the warehouse, and my hand, and, well, the rest of my injuries. Then he wanted to talk about how long the docs thought I'd be outta work for, and _then_ he wanted to talk 'bout me 'n Linds, and then he finally asked about you, Stel," Danny said in a rush. "The apology was the last thing he did."

Lindsay, face slightly flushed, nodded. "It was similar with me. He asked about what had happened outside the warehouse and what happened at the hospital. He asked about me and Danny, and then he asked about you," she said, slightly calmer then Danny had been. "Apology was last with me, too."

Stella looked at Adam. "You have the same experience?" she asked him, considering.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Except he never asked about Danny and Lindsay with me," he teased them.

Stella returned her gaze to them. "What'd he say about you two, anyway?"

They looked at each other and Danny answered. "There was the obligatory stuff about staying professional at work, but he told me he was glad, that I'd been a better person over the last year or so. And at one point he muttered something about it being about time."

Lindsay and the others laughed. "Yeah, I got something similar. He congratulated me, told me that you were a good guy, and to be sure to keep it out of the lab, too."

"Good," Stella said, satisfied. "I mean, it's not like he can give you guys shit about it, since he was having an office romance too."

They all nodded, and were silent for a moment or two before Adam spoke up.

"I have to tell you, I was impressed that he went to the effort of getting me alone and apologizing, Stel. I'm not really mad at him anymore." Adam shrugged. "He seemed like he really meant it."

"We kinda agree with Adam. He found us and apologized, too, and it was really heartfelt. It was obvious that he really regretted his behavior," Lindsay said, and Danny nodded.

"Good, guys, I'm glad. Did you tell him that?" Stella asked warmly. She honestly did not want her team to be at odds with Mac, especially since she knew that he really had felt bad about leaving them. She knew that Don was still quite angry with Mac, but also thought that Mac's behavior today had softened that significantly. She was fairly certain that Sheldon was too fair to hold on to a grudge once Mac apologized.

The younger members of her team nodded, and Stella grinned at them. "Good, I'm glad. Now, who's up for a movie?"

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Much later that night, Stella lay awake in her bed, thinking about Mac, his apologies, and her feelings. She was beginning to understand that the last week had changed nearly everything between them. She knew she cared about him, but she was no longer sure whether it was platonic or not. She had certainly had feelings for him before that went beyond a platonic friendship. Complicating this was the new and even more confusing feelings that she had whenever Sheldon was around now. She was positive that her feelings for him were no longer platonic, but was couldn't decide if that was simply because he'd been there for her in a time of deep distress or if they were truly there. She sighed and got up, pacing to her window. She wondered what feelings Sheldon, and Mac for that matter, had for her. Certainly they both cared about her, but to what extent, in what way? She sighed again, and decided to venture out into the kitchen to make some tea. Maybe she'd wake Sheldon up again, and they could talk.

Moving silently into the kitchen, she paused and listened. She could hear the soft snuffles of her sleeping team, and what she suspected was Don's snoring, but this time she didn't go to look over them. Padding silently to the stove, she made sure there was water in the kettle and turned it on. While she waited for the water to heat, she got a mug and her favorite "sleepy time" tea down from a cupboard. As she listened to the soft noises the kettle made as it heated up, her thoughts drifted back to Sheldon and Mac. _Did she really have feelings for Sheldon? And did she still for Mac?_ She shook her head, exasperated with herself and the pointless circling of her thoughts. She wouldn't be able to answer either of those without talking to at least one of the men in question. And if she was honest with herself, she wanted to see if Sheldon had the same feelings for her when it wasn't something akin to a crisis situation.

Lost in thought, she again hadn't noticed the shadow darken the doorway of the kitchen. When the kettle started to gurgle, she quickly turned off the stove and grabbed the kettle, filling her mug with tea. When she felt the hand on her back, she tensed up for a moment, but quickly relaxed, knowing who it must be.

Grinning, she whispered, "Do you want some tea?"

"Sure," he whispered back, smiling as well, consciously repeating their conversation from several nights ago. She got him down another mug and another tea bag, then filled his mug up and handed it to him. Picking her own up, she turned and headed toward her room, knowing that he would follow her.

He closed the door to her room behind them, and came to join her on the bed. Making himself comfortable, he blew on his tea to cool it off, watching her do the same.

"So why couldn't you sleep this time?" Sheldon asked, quiet voice still thick with sleep, when the silence had stretched and she had made no moves to break it.

She sighed and looked up at him. "My mind won't shut off again. The thoughts are clear this time, but much more circular. Like, I can't think about one of the things without it leading into the second, and the second leads to the third, and the third leads straight back into number one, which technically becomes number four…" she trailed off, tilting her head, running over what she'd said in her mind to make sure it had made sense. With a quick laugh, she gave up, and asked, "Did that make _any _sense?"

Smiling, he nodded. "Sure it did. Would talking about any of the pieces help?"

She hesitated, looking at him. He'd given her the perfect opportunity, and she'd shared too much with him over the last week to hold anything back now.

"I… yeah, it probably would, but… Well, it might make you uncomfortable."

He shook his head, grinning. "Nah, I doubt that, Stel. What's up?"

Stella took a deep breath, and choosing her words carefully, began to speak.

"I was… thinking about feelings. Mostly mine for other people. I was thinking about how I felt about Mac, and how that's changed, 'cuz I finally realized that this week… well, it changed everything between us." She paused, shook her head. "I mean, I still care about him. He's one of my closest friends. But…" she trailed off and stared hard at Sheldon. "Are you _sure_ this won't make you uncomfortable?"

He nodded. "Definitely not, Stel. So keep going. But what?"

"But… well, before he left, I was sure my feelings for him were more then platonic. I mean, I wasn't in love with him, but that's mostly because I stopped myself out of self-preservation. I guess… I thought he wasn't ready to move on, and when he did, and it was with Peyton… well, she made him happy, and I really wanted him to be happy." She stopped, took a sip of her tea.

"That makes sense. So what changed?" Sheldon asked.

Stella sighed. "I'm not sure, honestly. I don't… I don't know what my feelings are now. I'm not sure if they're just friends, or if they're more then that now. They don't… well, they just don't seem the same as they were." She trailed off again, and took another deep breath. It was now or never. "There's… well, there's something clouding them now, something that I… didn't really expect."

He waited, but when she didn't immediately continue, he prompted, "And what's that, Stel?"

"I… my feelings for someone else… are sorta confused now too," she said softly, looking straight at him.

He sat up straighter, butterflies beginning to hatch in his belly. Was she really…?

"Oh? And who's that?" he asked calmly, hiding the nerves that had begun to snake through his body.

"Well… It's you, actually." Not wanting to give him time to freak out, she rushed on. "If I'm honest, part of what I'm confused about is whether or not they've been coming on for a long time or if they're just because you were really close to me during what was a really stressful situation. I mean, it could just be transference – ya know, feelings that I'm giving you because we were in what was kinda a crisis situation. I don't want to scare you or lose your friendship or –"

Sheldon finally had to cut her off. Her nervous rambling had been amusing, and he had to admit, while he had been aware of his feelings for her for a long time, it was possible that hers really were just transference. Was it a risk he was willing to take? The answer coming from inside him was an unequivocal and emphatic _yes._

"Stella." He said, quietly, bringing her anxious words to a halt. "Would you like to have dinner with me? Out? Sometime next week, when I'm no longer residing at your apartment?"

She blinked at him. Blinked again. "Like… a date?" She asked cautiously. He smiled.

"Yes, very much like a date."

"Why?"

"Well, because you have confused feelings for me, and I have firm, fairly straightforward feelings for you," he said softly, a hint of teasing in his tone.

She gaped at him. "You… you do? Since when?"

"Oh, a while now," he answered. "I've been aware of them for about a year."

She was speechless. He had feelings for her? Now that she'd admitted hers, and he had admitted his, she didn't really know what to say, except… "Yes."

"Yes what?" He asked, confused by the apparent change of subject.

"Yes, I'd like very much to go out with you sometime next week when you are no longer residing in my apartment," she answered, laughter in her tone, eyes twinkling.


	20. Forgiveness

A/N: Hey, guys. Here's the last bit. I can't thank you all enough for sticking with me – I really really appreciate it! I've really enjoyed writing this -- I can't believe i've finished my first story!! Anyway, enjoy and review if you want!  
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**Chapter 20: Forgiveness**

The next morning, Mac chose the same approach as the morning before, in case the previous day hadn't been as successful as he'd hoped. He bought the makings of breakfast, and large coffees before showing up at Stella's door early again.

He knocked, and waited; this time it was Flack who pulled the door groggily open and squinted to try to figure out who had woken him. Mac debated before deciding bribery was his best option.

Gesturing at the tray of coffees in his hand, he said quietly, "Can I come in? I come bearing breakfast…"

Don narrowed his eyes but sighed and nodded, moving away from the door towards the kitchen. Mac followed, pushing the door shut with his foot. Reaching the kitchen, he set the coffee trays down, rid himself of the bags of breakfast, and grabbed one of the large Starbucks coffees he'd brought. Placing it, and a handful of sugar packets, in front of Don, who was slumped at the kitchen table, he grabbed the cream out of Stella's fridge and put on the table as well. Don grunted, which Mac supposed was a thanks of sorts, and added some sugar to his coffee.

Moving comfortably around Stella's kitchen, Mac began to make breakfast. He was flipping the first of the pancakes and scrambling some eggs when Don realized what he was doing and came to stand beside him.

"You're… cooking?" Don asked in disbelief, squinting at the stove as if he was unsure of what he was seeing.

"Yup," Mac answered, sliding a finished pancake onto a plate and adding more batter to the pan.

Don blinked. "Wow. I'm impressed." He hesitated, then sighed again and asked, "Do you need any help?"

Mac turned to him, appreciative of the offer. Maybe he'd been successful yesterday after all. "No, Don, but thanks. Sit and enjoy, and I'll have some pancakes and eggs ready shortly. The bacon'll be done after I finish the eggs."

Flack nodded, and went to retake his seat at the table.

By the time the time Danny, Lindsay and Adam were lured in by the scent of the frying bacon, there was a bowl of scrambled eggs on the table, and a growing stack of pancakes on the plate by the stove. Mac efficiently slid the last 3 onto the plate and placed that on the table. He'd set the table as Don watched, and placed maple syrup, butter, and even powered sugar on it already. Now, he scoped out the bacon and added that plate to the table.

"Alright, guys, dig in." The team enthusiastically followed his order, even Flack. Mac sat down and waited for the pancakes while looking around. "Hawkes still asleep?" Mac didn't ask about Stella, since the door to her room still hadn't opened.

He watched as his team stilled for a second, and then jumped right back into motion, pretending they hadn't heard him. He watched them bemusedly for a second before shrugging and accepting the plate of bacon that Adam handed him. Sliding a few pieces onto his plate, he heard the door of Stella's room open. Getting up to get her a cup of coffee, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Stella come from her room, yawning, a bleary-eyed Sheldon following close behind.

"Good morning, guys. Something smells good," she said, trailing off when she noticed Mac.

"Yeah, Mac made pancakes," Adam said uncomfortably.

"They're good, Stella. Have a seat," Don told her, waving a hand to the 2 chairs still empty around the table. Mac handed Sheldon and Stella their coffee, and sat back down, his mind working overtime. Hawkes and Stella? _Stella and Hawkes?!_ Just what had happened during his time away? He idly accepted the plate of pancakes that Adam passed him, mulling over why the two of them together made him more then a little unhappy.

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After breakfast, he accepted Lindsay's directive that since he cooked, she would clean up, and when he accepted, she immediately drafted Danny and Adam to help. Both guys complained mightily but began to clear the table as she ran water for dishes. They were done before too long, and Linds sent the boys out into the living room. Stella was again reading on the couch with Sheldon, and Flack had stepped into the shower for the moment, so when no one was looking, Mac slipped into the kitchen.

"Lindsay?" He asked quietly.

"Oh, hey, Mac. What's up?" She asked, scrubbing the bacon pan.

"Well, I was wondering if you could figure out a way to get both Danny and Adam out of the apartment for a couple hours."

Lindsay stopped washing the pan and looked at Mac steadily. "Why do you need to get them out?" She asked evenly.

Mac shifted uncomfortably, not used to her stare. "I… need to talk to Sheldon, Don and Stella, and since they're not going to leave her alone, I'm going to need the apartment to do it in."

Lindsay's cool gaze remained on him as she thought over his words. Coming to a decision, she nodded abruptly as she turned her attention back to the dishes. "Yeah, I can get them out for a while. I'll take them grocery shopping, both for here and for their own apartments. I think we're all moving back to our own places the day after tomorrow, so it makes sense to start stocking stuff up for them now."

"Thanks, Lindsay. I really appreciate this," Mac said fervently, relieved.

She looked at him again. "I'm not really doing this for you, Mac. I'm doing it because Stella deserves to hear your apology as much as we did – more, even – and she won't get to without you taking care of Don and Shel first."

Mac nodded. "Well, thanks just the same."

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Watching Lindsay round up Danny and Adam and try to get them out the door was more then a little amusing for the four people watching. Stella was curled up in the corner of the couch next to Sheldon, and Don was watching from the other corner, reading that morning's paper. Mac had settled into an armchair with the papers from the days he'd been gone, and all four of them had been reading until the interruption of Lindsay attempting to get a nearly belligerent Danny and an unhappy Adam out of the apartment.

When she finally got them out, she turned back to the apartment's remaining occupants and blew out a breath. "Whew! _That_ was harder then I expected. Anyway, I think we'll probably be a while, with 2 men to grocery shop for, and apartments on the different sides of town. So… 3, maybe 4 hours? We'll call if we're going to be longer then that."

Stella smiled at her. "Alright, Linds. Thanks. Have fun with them," she added with a wink.

Lindsay rolled her eyes, grinned quickly, then shut the door. The four still in the room shared a brief chuckle, and Mac didn't miss the way Sheldon reached over and absently rubbed Stella's shoulder. His eyes narrowed, but he said nothing as silence settled back over the room and they all returned to their reading.

For the next several minutes, the only sounds heard were the sounds of pages turning, or the occasional snort from Don as he read through the paper. Finally, about 30 minutes after Lindsay and the others had left, Don sighed and began to fold up the paper.

"Hey, would anyone mind if I turned on the TV? I'd like to see if I can catch the sports highlights from last night's games," Don said, looking around. Stella looked up and shook her head.

"It wouldn't bother me, Don. I can read through pretty much anything," she replied, smiling. Sheldon nodded, and Don turned to Mac.

Mac swallowed. This was the opportunity that he'd been waiting for. He cleared his throat. "Actually… Stella, would you mind excusing us for a while? There's something I need to discuss with Don and Sheldon."

Stella looked up at Mac, then over to Sheldon, who was staring at Mac with narrowed eyes. Looking behind him, she found Don also staring at Mac with a similar expression on his face. Looking back to Mac, she nodded and began to get up.

"Uhh… of course, Mac. I'll just… go read in my room for a while."

Sheldon stopped her, getting up himself. "No, Stel, don't be silly. We can go in there, it makes more sense that way." He glared at Mac, almost daring the older man to contradict him. Don also stood and stretched before agreeing with Sheldon.

"Yeah, Mac. Do you mind loaning us your room, Stel?"

"Umm… no, not at all," she answered, relieved that she wouldn't be confined to her room. Mac nodded, and turned to walk with Don to her room. Sheldon stopped and looked down at her, asking silently if she was not only going to be ok but if she was really alright with him leaving her. She smiled up at him and held out her hand. He took it and squeezed, and leaned down.

"We'll be back soon, alright?" he whispered. She nodded and smiled at him again, reaching up to kiss his cheek.

"Go. Have your boys-only chat time," she said, smile turning into a grin. He grinned back, then straightened up and quickly walked over to Stella's bedroom door, where Mac had appeared and was watching silently. In the doorway, Sheldon gave Stella a quick grin over his shoulder before turning and shutting the door.

As soon as the door was shut, Stella's grin faded into a bewildered expression and she looked down at her book. Sighing, she got up to put it away, knowing that the formerly engrossing story wouldn't be enough to hold her attention now. Glancing at her bedroom door, she sighed again and sat back down in the corner of the couch, grabbing Flack's paper in the hopes that it would keep her at least marginally distracted.

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"What's this about, Mac?" Don said as soon as the door was closed. Hawkes made himself comfortable on Stella's bed as Mac walked over to the window and Don stood, arms crossed, by the door.

"I think you know," Mac said calmly. "I'd like to hear about what happened while I was gone. I'd like to explain myself, to the best of my ability. And I'd like to apologize."

Sheldon and Don exchanged glances. "Why? It's not us you need to be talking to," Don said.

Mac turned to them, a wry smile on his lips. "Yes, but we all know that I'm not going to be able to talk to Stella until you guys are convinced that I'm sincere in my apology."

Sheldon laughed softly. "He's got us fairly well pegged, Don."

"I don't imagine we were that difficult to figure out," Flack replied. "Alright, Mac, what do you want to know?"

"I'd like to hear, from you guys, what happened, from the time I left until the time I knocked on the door two days ago."

Again the two younger men exchanged looks. "What do you already know?" Sheldon asked quietly.

"Yeah, and how much time do you have?" Don snorted.

Mac simply shrugged, indicating that it didn't matter what he already knew, he'd settled in to hear what they had to say.

Sheldon sighed, and the two of them began to tell the story of the last week. By the time they were finished, Mac had his back to them, shoulders stiff with tension. When he turned back to the two men, his face was pale and drawn.

"I guess… even talking to you both in the hall two days ago didn't drive home how bad things were. If she was that bad, why didn't you tell me, tell someone? What if she'd needed real help?"

Sheldon sighed. "Believe me, Mac, none of us were willing to risk her mental health. But we were keeping a very close eye on her. Someone was with her at all times, except when she was in the shower, or sleeping. That first night, either Don or I – or both of us – was up, in case she needed us." Sheldon paused, taking a deep breath as he exchanged a glance with Don. "We knew that she might need more help then we could provide, and if she'd gotten any worse instead of better, or if she'd gotten completely unresponsive for very long, we were going to call in a friend of mine, to see if she thought Stel needed professional help."

"We almost did call her," Don said. "The day they debriefed her… she was really bad for a long time. We were all in a near panic and having an emergency conference in the kitchen when she came in and asked for dinner. Before that, she hadn't moved or spoken in nearly 5 hours, and she was completely unresponsive. We think it was due to the stress of having to pretend to be completely ok."

Mac sighed and turned back to the window. He could understand, he reluctantly admitted to himself, her desire for him not to be told. He hadn't been the best friend lately.

Turning back to the other men, Mac swallowed. "I owe you both an apology, for the way I left."

They both blinked at him. It was clear from the astonishment on their faces that they hadn't exactly believed that he was going to apologize, at least not that bluntly.

"I don't really have an excuse as to why I left, other then what I told the others. I wasn't really thinking straight. When Peyton came running at me, all I could think about was how she wanted me to go, and how I didn't want to disappoint her. So… I went. I realized I shouldn't have almost immediately."

He stopped, and considered the two men for a minute. They were watching him closely, and seemed to be waiting for him to say something in particular. Unsure of what this might be, he decided to continue with what he had planned to say, and hope that what he said put them at ease.

"I… wanted to thank you both for taking care of her, for noticing what she tries so hard to hide from people… even me, if I'm not careful," he said self-deprecatingly. "I wish I'd been here to help her. But I'm very grateful that you both were here. And… I want you to know that I care about her, very much. I'll do my best to avoid hurting her in the future."

Sheldon and Don exchanged yet another look, and Sheldon nodded slightly. Don sighed and looked over at Mac. "Alright, Mac. We accept your apology. And we appreciate the fact that you took the time to apologize to us."

He just looked at them both steadily, waiting for one more thing.

Sheldon smiled, briefly. "And we promise we won't stand in your way of trying to talk to Stella."

Mac breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it."

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Stella looked up when she heard her bedroom door open. She was somewhat relieved that she hadn't heard any yelling during the hour they'd been closeted in there, and she watched closely as they all walked out, looking considerably happier then when they went in. Sheldon came straight over to the couch to sit next to her, while Don made his way into the bathroom and Mac ambled over to sit in one of the armchairs.

Mac clicked on the TV and found ESPN, so that Don could hopefully find the sports highlights he'd wanted to see before they'd chatted. When he came out of the bathroom, Mac shrugged at him.

"I wasn't sure what games were on last night, so I figured ESPN might be the best idea to find what you were looking for," Mac told him, somewhat apologetically.

Don smiled back. "Thanks, Mac. Hey, guys, what do we want to do about lunch?"

Stella stared at him blankly for a second. "Damn, Don. Lindsay was right. You really are a bottomless pit."

"What about sandwiches? I'm sure there's a deli somewhere around here. Maybe you guys could write what you want out, and Stella and I could go pick it up," Mac volunteered.

Expecting the Sheldon and Don to shoot that down, she said nothing. When then instead enthusiastically agreed that that was a great idea, she was stunned. As Don was writing down his lunch request and giving money to Mac, Stella turned to Sheldon.

"What's going on?" she whispered.

He smiled. "Gotta talk to him sometime, Stel. Now's a perfect time!" Turning to Mac to write his own lunch order out, he grinned at her grumbles as she went to change and get her shoes.

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Walking down the steps of her building a few minutes later, Mac turned to Stella.

"So… _Is_ there a deli somewhere around here?"

She smiled wryly, and made a right turn at the bottom of the steps. They walked in silence for a while, before Stella sighed and looked at him.

"What's this about, Mac?"

"What, going to get sandwiches?" he answered innocently.

She snorted. "No, I mean volunteering the two of us to go get them," she said, exasperated, as raised her eyebrows at him.

Spying a bench up ahead, he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards it and sat, pulling her down with him. "I needed to talk to you. Alone, now that I've appeased the dragons."

Leaning back on the bench, she crossed her arms. "Alright. What did you need to talk about?"

"I really am sorry, Stella. I need you to believe me, to believe that I truly regret leaving you to deal with this on your own." He hesitated for a moment, and sighed. "I need you, your light, your energy, your care. I need your forgiveness. And I'm not sure…" he trailed off.

She regarded him silently for a moment before sighing herself. "Ya know, Mac, I really was just mad for the guys, for the way you didn't even ask about them, or _think_ to ask about them. You just… left. I never was mad at you for something you did to me. I just… thought you deserved to be happy, and if Peyton was what made you happy, then you needed to be with her. I guess I was more hurt then anything. You just left us, abandoned us to whatever IA had in store for us, to deal with the evidence that was likely contaminated by the sprinklers and the bomb. And beyond the work side of things…" she trailed off, watching the cars go by on the street in front of them. He waited in silence, hoping she would continue on her own.

As the minutes ticked by, and he realized that wasn't going to happen, he quietly prompted, "Beyond the work side of things?"

She shifted on the bench and, without looking at him, replied, "The guys… I was in a bad place, Mac. I didn't even recognize Don at first. And… they had never seen me that way. Well, Don had, sorta, in the hospital after… well, after. But Sheldon, the others… they never had. And I never… well, I never wanted them to. But you? You're a different story. You're my best friend, and you've seen me upset. Had you been here… I could have come to you."

"But you asked them not to tell me," Mac said, confusion written plainly on his face.

"Because I didn't want you to be disappointed, or feel that you had to turn around and leave London immediately because I couldn't handle things," she said simply.

"Stella… no one blames you or thinks you're weak when you show emotion," Mac said quietly. "The team… during the Frankie thing, you should have seen them. All of them. They all wanted to be there for you, all wanted to help you. Lindsay… had a particularly bad time of things. Danny had to calm her down several times. I think they resented me a little for not letting them help. I didn't let them because knowing you, you wouldn't have wanted any of us to invade your home. I figured I was the best option to process your apartment. And Flack… I don't think I could have stopped him from taking your statement if I'd tied him down."

She laughed softly at that, remembering vividly how protective he'd been of her during the last week. Mac smiled wryly, having a good idea of where her thoughts had gone, and continued.

"I think… Stella, they… we… we're like a family. 'We take care of each other', remember? I think they were… glad is the wrong word but… I guess, maybe relieved? That for once they were allowed to help take care of you. And if I'm real honest?" He paused, waiting for her to look at him. When she did, he continued, "If I'm real honest, I'm glad they were here. I'm not happy that you were hurting and I couldn't help, but this whole situation had to happen, I'm glad it happened when they could love you through it."

Stella stared at him, mouth agape, mind working furiously. _He has a point_, she realized.

"Stella… I know I haven't been the best friend lately. I'm sorry. I'm going to make the effort. But… even if you're not ready for things to go back to the way they were… I need your forgiveness. I can't stand having you mad at me." The soft plea in his voice coupled with the sincere regret in his voice melted the remaining anger she felt.

"We're both human, Mac. We both make mistakes. And… you're my best friend. I could never stay mad at you for long." Standing, Stella looked down at him, smiled when he stood to join her. "You're forgiven, Mac."

He closed his eyes, breathing a sigh of heartfelt release. Pulling her into his arms, he hugged her tightly, burying his face in the top of her head. She hugged him back for a moment, then pulled away and laughed. When he looked at her, brow furrowed, she shook her head.

"Man, Don and Shel are gonna wonder what the hell happened to us. C'mon," she grabbed his arm, dragged him back into the flow of foot-traffic on the sidewalk. "Let's go get lunch. And on the way, you can tell me all about London!"

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Closing the door of her apartment, Stella turned around to survey her now-empty living room, surprised at the sense of loneliness she felt. The chief had called while they were trying to decide what to do for dinner, and they were all expected back in tomorrow morning at 9 am. They were supposed to give their final statements and look over the evidence the other teams had catalogued in their open cases before returning to work. The group had decided to have one last dinner together before packing it up and returning to their own apartments.

Sighing, she walked over to flop down on her couch. _I'll have to have team get-togethers much more often,_ she thought idly as she picked up the remote and turned the TV on, simply for background noise. Thinking about the last few days and how grateful she was to them all, she was surprised by a knock at her door.

Grinning as she realized someone must have forgotten something, she walked over and pulled it open.

"Sheldon," she grinned. "Did you forget something?"

"Ah… yeah, actually."

Stepping out of the way, she gestured him in. "Well go ahead and find it."

He stepped just inside of her apartment, but made no move to go further into the space. Tilting her head, she raised her eyebrows. "Shel?"

"Well, I really forgot two things," he said quietly. "First, now that I'm not living in your apartment anymore, I was wondering… would you like to have dinner with me? Say… Wednesday?"

Stella grinned. "Absolutely, baring an unforeseen case. What was the other thing?"

"Just this," He said. Placing his hands softly on her cheeks, he gently brought his mouth down on hers.

Closing her eyes, she sighed into his kiss. _Apparently his mouth is just as soft as the rest of him_, she mused idly. As he tilted her head to deepen the kiss, her head began to feel fuzzy. Pulling away, he smiled at her, and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, Stella. See you tomorrow," He said quietly, and pulled the door shut behind him before she could formulate a coherent response. When she regained her thinking abilities, she moved forward to lock her door, then leaned against it briefly. _What a week,_ she thought, a grin splitting her face as she moved towards her bedroom. _What a week._


End file.
